Any of These Online Dating Red Flags Should Send You Running For the Hills!
Over the years I’ve helped countless men design, implement and monitor their online dating profiles. During this time, I also monitored the profiles of women and read what women would write to my male clients.
Here are 10 of the most common online dating red flags I have seen women write in their profiles. I think you should watch for them.
This doesn’t just apply to online profiles though. These are also things you can look for when you first meet a woman as well.
(Number 8 and number 10 are each something few men consider or register as a potential red flag):
1) When she messages you or responds to you, she starts with something negative.
This doesn’t have to be anything huge, just something nitpicky. Examples include, “you should smile more in your pictures”, or “I like you more in the green shirt than the red one…”
Really? Really. I’ve seen many women do this, and it just frightens me. For one, it’s rude to someone you’re communicating with for the first time. Secondly, it just demonstrates a woman who very possibly nitpicks. That’s no fun.
2) She hasn’t taken the time to think about her pictures and hasn’t invested sufficient time into her profile.
To me, this shows a form of entitlement and that she just assumes she can get by with doing “enough,” and that “enough” is “good enough for a man.”
I always suggest responding to profiles which are decently written, thoughtful, and offer an array of pictures taken by someone else (not a collage of selfies).
3) It’s about her–all about her.
While a personal profile is just that, a personal profile, you still want to make sure it shows her lifestyle & her life as a whole, and what all (and who all) that includes (friends, children if applicable, family, etc.). Be cautious if her profile is of the “me, me, me” nature–it could signal a (not-so) secret narcissist.
4) She lives in fantasyland.
Be careful if she’s looking for her “dream lover” or “her world-traveling companion,” or even her “knight in shining armor.” While many women throw these terms around, it is suggestive of someone with extremely high & unrealistic expectations for a man- someone trying to find a man who simply doesn’t exist.
5) She talks about how her ex-husband or an ex-boyfriend hurt her, or just talks about having bad luck with men in general.
While even if it’s true, it’s likely she’s projecting that “all men” are this way, or is obviously carrying anger towards men. It can also be suggestive of someone who can’t see her own faults(possibly has narcissistic tendencies) and/or has victim mentality. Not healthy, not fun, not a good sign.
6) She’s overly sexy, overly provocative.
This applies mainly to younger women, but it can also apply to more mature women as well. While being attractive and sexy is perfectly acceptable, if she is just over the top and is exposing massive cleavage or saying very sexual, provocative things, she’s most likely after money and a gullible man, and/or she doesn’t have anything other than her boobs and sexuality to rely on (no brains, no job, and no depth). A woman who is highly provocative is more often than not up to something.
7) She complains about her job, or states how she wishes her life was different, or possibly expresses regrets about why she hasn’t made it farther than where she is currently in life.
Not a good sign. This suggests that she’s looking for a bailout or savior (you), or she’s just simply sour and filled with regrets, and possesses no ambition to correct her mistakes going forward.
8) She’s filled with dogmatic ideology and airy-fairy bullshit, attempting to deliver an essay about how loving, peaceful, and somehow superior she is to others.
This is suggestive of narcissistic personality disorder, for starters.
Secondly, it demonstrates someone who would rather sit on their bottom, yammer nonstop, and think about how great they are, versus take action and make great things happen. Make sure she’s an action taker, not a self-righteous nut case. Self-righteous nut cases are hell to live with.
9) Her profile doesn’t show an array of interests beyond watching television and drinking.
You want to see if she has passions (and drive forthose passions). You want to see if she has varied interests and hobbies, if she has a well-rounded lifestyle (healthy, happy, nice balance of work and fun, etc.).
Believe me, a woman who is active, pushes herself to try and do new things, is always increasing her knowledge base, lives a healthy lifestyle (for the most part, without overdoing it) and has varied interests, friends and hobbies, is much more likely to not get bored in a relationship, remain sexual with her partner, and not become some boring blob who is a semi-permanent fixture on the couch.
10) Her life is too complicated.
Sometimes a woman will actually say,“my life is complicated”, basically showing either she can’t get control of it, or doesn’t care to. Other times she may not say it, but you can easily see it.
She’s overwhelmed, has an overload of responsibilities or dependents she’s collected along the way (loser family members, the poorbroke friend, and so forth).
This is important because you want to look for ‘martyr syndrome’ (where someone takes others into their house, or takes on tasks for others, unconsciously making themselves the victim where they can complain about it and feel power over the person they’ve been “hurt” or “used” by). Also this woman might have the tendency to hoard, as well as a victim mentality.
It’s been my experience that all of these women have something in common: guys who try to date them end up with more problems out of the relationship than benefits.
So just steer clear. I don’t care how amazing she looks in her pictures, or how sweet she might seem, these women are just not worth your time and effort. You can, quite simply, do better!