How To Have Mind-Blowing Anal Sex That Keeps Her Coming Back For More–Even If It’s Her First Time Or She Said “No” in The Past…
So, you’re curious about anal sex but aren’t really sure how to broach the topic with a particular woman.
Or maybe you’re just curious and want to know more–that’s OK too.
Because when it comes to anal, it’s good to proceed slowly and cautiously — in just about every aspect.
Many women are not immediately ready to open the back door for business, which is why you need to broach the topic armed with knowledge, reassurance… and plenty of lube.
Like BDSM or anything else that may be slightly outside the mainstream — and in order to avoid a knee-jerk “No!” — you have to be open with how you communicate this to her.
Very much like the act itself, you can’t force it. There will be women who will never say yes, keeping that street strictly “one-way.”
And you have to be OK with that. On the other hand, there will be those who love it a lot and are ready to go. In the middle are those who have never tried anal sex and may be curious and those who have tried it and are kind of “meh.”
So regardless of which boat you’re in, here’s how to have amazing anal sex with any woman–all laid out for you in 7 simple steps below.
How To Get Almost Any Woman to Have Anal Sex (Even If It’s Her First Time Or She Seems Hesitant)…
As I stressed earlier, you need to communicate.
You need to be honest, explain to her why you want to try it, why you think she’ll like anal sex and reassure that it will be OK.
Also, you need to understand — and let her know — that she is free to say “no,” or to think about it for however long she needs without pressure or ultimatums. Badgering is not how to get her to have anal.
So, you must always:
Don’t just walk in the door, slap a bucket of lube on the table and say, “Let’s do this!” Start by asking her what she thinks about anal.
Then discuss any experiences with anal that the two of you have had. Let her know that you’ve been reading up on it and that you’d like to try it sometime.
Don’t ask for or try and force an immediate response. If she needs some time — minutes, weeks, months, it doesn’t matter — let her take the time she needs to come around to the idea.
And let her know that you will be there when she decides, no matter which way she comes down on the subject.
Another way to gauge her interest (and how to get her to have anal eventually) is to engage in some casual butt play long before you even bring up the topic with her. During foreplay, massage and lick the area around her butthole while performing oral sex.
Many women love to have their ass eaten.
Another option is to grab her butt cheeks and massage the area around her anus as you thrust inside her, perhaps while licking or sucking her nipples.
If she seems receptive to the massaging, next time, penetrate just a little with your finger during vaginal sex. These are ways to patiently broach the concept of the ass as an erogenous zone without even mentioning anal sex.
Then you can eventually bring up the topic by saying something along the lines of, “You know how much you like it when I play with your ass during sex…?” — and go from there.
An important aspect of keeping open the lines of communication with your partner is to help her feel reassured and comfortable.
When first discussing the prospect of anal, let her know that you will go slow, be gentle and follow her lead.
Let her know that many women find it pleasurable and are even able to have an orgasm from anal penetration. Explain that you know it may be a little difficult or weird at first but that once she is able to relax, it can feel awesome.
There is no rush — nor should there be. As you’re getting started and throughout the event, keep checking in and making sure she’s OK.
Especially if it’s the first time for her, she could feel some discomfort or like she is having a bowel movement, and it may take several minutes for her muscles to relax.
In the beginning, as you’re exploring anal, you have to be prepared not to get to the finish line, and if she asks to stop, you need to stop… and gently. No abrupt or sudden movements in the early stages of anal.
One of women’s biggest fears about anal is the potential for pain. And that is a real possibility:
Torn tissue and other injuries can occur without adequate lube and preparation.
Reassure her that you will do all you can to reduce the discomfort and make anal an all-around pleasurable experience.
That being said, if a girthy fellow approaches a virgin bunghole (and I am speaking from experience, here) the potential for pain goes both ways. So, if you’re packing a little more girth than others, it behooves you to help ease the way for both of you.
If you properly lay the groundwork (see below) and use a lot of lube, you can greatly reduce the chances for discomfort.
Get her in a good mood.
Doing something to relax a bit before getting started will definitely help set the stage for a more enjoyable anal experience. So set some mood lighting and sensual music.
Perhaps a hot bath and some wine or other adult beverage of her choice — but not enough to be totally drunk, as you’ll both want to function.
If you live in a 420-friendly state, that’s another way to go.
Then start in with a backrub. Use a lotion or oil that is mildly scented and designed to relax her.
During the massage, pay special attention to her ass. Rub her hips, and gently knead her cheeks and the backs of her thighs.
If you and your partner enjoy watching porn together, some sexy anal porn may also help get her into the mood. You want to make sure that the video highlights the sexy side of anal and that it contains nothing alarming about the penetration — stay away from anything too aggressive or violent-seeming. You want sexy and easy.
An ideal video would be one in which the woman is trying anal for the first time and completely gets off on it. They’re out there:
Pick the right one for you and your partner.
Ultimately, there are many ways to help your lady friend relax—more than can reasonably be included in this anal sex guide. Be creative and use what you know about your girl to help her feel comfortable. 😉
Start off slow.
Again, virgin butts may require some preparation over an extended time before even trying penetration—so that you can both experience all the benefits anal sex has to offer.
Again, start by easing into her ass with your fingers during your regular sex sessions. Start small, a fingertip or even your pinky at first.
Be sure to massage the area around her anus and make sure there is plenty of lube down there, whether saliva, come or vaginal lubrication.
Also remember, once your finger goes in the number two hole, it does not go back into the vagina or anywhere else before it’s been cleaned.
Over a few sessions, use a larger finger and more of a finger. Once she is getting off with your thumb in her ass, gently try two fingers the next time.
When she becomes comfortable with and is enjoying two fingers in her butt during vaginal or oral sex, it’s probably safe to try anal sex.
Getting In There: How To Have Anal Sex for Maximum Pleasure & No Pain
The first time you do it, choose a position that’s comfortable for both of you.
This means that she should be able to maintain it for several minutes (it could take a while) and you need to be able to “reach” her anus without straining.
Standard doggy style is a good starting position. So is a position in which she is bent comfortably over a surface, so you can stand during penetration.
Use a close-fitting condom and a lot of lube (more about those below). Because a rectum does not naturally lubricate like a vagina does, the lube aspect of anal sex cannot be stressed enough.
Start by massaging the outside of the butthole, itself. This will likely make your partner feel like she has to make a bowel movement, and that’s natural. Her nerve endings assume that’s what the stimulation is for.
Once she starts feeling this way, it’s time to enter. She should exhale and push like, well… like she’s pooping.
This will help expand and loosen the anus. Slide just the head of your penis through her anus, into her rectum and stop.
Because your penis will create pressure on the nerve endings on the inside of your partner’s rectum, her body could feel like it is actually pooping. She’s not — and be sure to let her know that she’s not.
Now, you need to pause for a few minutes, so she can let her muscles relax and get used to the discomfort. Slowly — slowly! — rock back and forth.
Don’t move your penis any deeper. Just simply rock slowly and gently to help the muscles grow accustomed to you being inside.
It may take five or 10 minutes for the muscles to loosen up and the feeling of having a BM to dissipate. Check in throughout the entire process.
If everything feels OK at this point, you’re good to go. But again, to avoid pain and potential injury, always go slow.
You may want to agree on a safeword eventually. But during the first couple times you have anal sex, open communication using plain language should be enough.
“No” means “no,” and “stop” means “stop.”
If you’re enjoying the sensation, and you want to feel it again with your partner, stopping when asked to is crucial.
How To Prepare for Anal Sex–And Why a Little Preparation Goes a Long Way…
Anal sex and ass play can be intimidating if you’re beginners. But a little preparation can go a long way to making you feel comfortable and ready to go.
In the beginning, just keep it simple before you start working anal into your sexual routines and trying new positions.
Once again, lots of lube is the key.
You should use a water-based lubricant or a lube that is designed specifically for ass play and anal sex (And yes — they’re out there).
You will need to lube both yourself and her anus both around the outside and just inside. Again, for hygiene reasons, you should be wearing a condom for anal sex.
Before you get down to anal though, you both should be highly turned-on.
This means lots of foreplay.
In fact, foreplay is so important that you should never try anal sex without it. If she has an orgasm — or a few orgasms — before you move to the ass, she’ll be in a highly-aroused state and ready for more pleasure.
Be careful not to wear her out first, though. As I pointed out above, anal takes a little bit of time.
Stimulating her clitoris or vagina with your tongue, mouth and/or fingers while working her butthole into the mix is a great way to lead up to anal.
Try rimming her with your tongue while manipulating her clitoris with your fingers.
Using a toy that’s designed for ass play — or a small pocket rocket/bullet vibrator — while stimulating her nipples, clitoris or vagina is another way to get her bottom in the mood for penetration. In fact, there are butt plugs out there in graduating sizes that can help you to prepare her ass for penetration over time.
Starting with a finger or two…
… again, is another way to prep your partner’s patooty for penetration. It’s important to remember that the key nerve endings are in and around the anus and not way up inside.
This is why rimming can be so pleasurable. So when you’re preparing to penetrate, just use the tip of everything or you risk causing her the sensation of having to poop without any of the mitigating pleasure.
In fact, early on in your anal sex exploration, you may not even want to penetrate beyond the head of your penis.
This will help maximize the pleasure and minimize some of the discomfort associated with anal sex, which is more associated with deeper penetration.
Anal sex takes preparation and patience. You can’t rush it or you risk the backdoor being forever off limits.
The Absolute Best Positions For Amazing Anal Sex
The best positions for anal sex are those that allow you both to be as comfortable as possible during the entire experience.
There are literally dozens of positions out there, more than can possibly be listed here.
The “rear entry” position is a good starter pose and is generally considered one of the best anal sex positions.
In the rear entry position, she lies on her stomach, supporting herself gently with her elbows.
She will spread her legs and bend them at the knees. Then you lay between her legs and ease your penis inside.
Another of the best positions for anal sex is the “Burning Man” position. This is an awesome position because you can both get a lot of leverage.
She bends over something like a table, counter or sofa — something that will allow you to penetrate her ass while standing — and spreads her legs. You stand behind her and enter, while supporting and pulling her hips toward you.
Finally, the “leapfrog” is also generally considered one of the best anal sex positions. Your partner kneels and bends forward, arching her back with her arms forward on the ground.
This position presents her ass to you for easy penetration by kneeling behind her. However, take some time to research what’s out there and find a position that works well for both of you.
Why Does Anal Sex Feel So Good?
There are many reasons that anal sex feels so good.
First, it’s tighter.
Because the muscles around the anus are so tight–and the muscles just inside are designed to squeeze and push out what’s inside–your penis is squeezed much more tightly at all times during anal sex than vaginal sex.
It’s also a more uniform squeezing that you will feel along the entire length of the area that’s inside your partner’s ass.
Anal sex also creates more friction.
The tight sphincter muscles of the anus create a tremendous amount of friction as your penis eases back and forth — even with a lot of lube.
There’s also something very satisfying about the sense of sexual dominance that anal penetration creates. If you are in a dominant/submissive relationship — and you’re the dominant one — anal sex can be incredibly pleasurable for both of you because of the dom/sub dynamic it can create.
2 Things You Absolutely MUST Do When You Try Anal Sex…
There are two things that absolutely cannot be disposed of when it comes to anal sex:
Condoms and cleanliness.
Hygiene is a crucial component of any good anal experience.
First, yes–you have to wear a condom. It doesn’t matter how well you know your partner or how long you’ve been together.
As good as your penis feels in her ass, they were not made to be that way. There may be things on your penis that will be bad for her to have in that area.
And you certainly do not want fecal matter to get into the tip of your penis. There is potential for infection all around.
If you are switching between vaginal and anal or vice versa, do not use the same condom. Wipe down your penis and switch condoms in between.
Keeping baby wipes close at hand during anal sex is a really good idea. Always be prepared to wipe her as you pull out of her ass, just in case.
The good news is that the anus and lower rectum are not as full of *stuff* as we may think. In truth, there is usually very little in this area.
But one way to ensure that it is squeaky clean is to use an enema before having anal sex. This will clear out any lingering things and get her ready for pleasurable and worry-free anal sex.
If an enema is not an option, a pH-neutral soap or cleanser — designed for the daintier parts of the body — can help clean and prep the area. Wash the outside and the first couple inches of the rectum with a finger; you could even assist her with this.
(Keeping the area around the butthole shaved is another good idea.)
Anal Sex Has Its Rewards for Women, Too…
Anal isn’t all about the men’s pleasure — that would be boring.
Women who love it attest to the benefits of anal sex.
Women can have an orgasm from anal sex and no other stimulation. And if they have an orgasm during anal, they will be far more likely to want to try it again.
But why put all your eggs in one basket?
During anal sex, finger her nipples and use a hand or vibrator to stimulate her clitoris or vagina.
While an orgasm for anal penetration is possible, it is more likely to be a key component in a mind-blowing vaginal or clitoral orgasm than the cause of a stand-alone climax.
And that’s a key benefit of anal sex for women:
It’s an orgasm enhancer.
Finally, another benefit of anal sex is that it builds intimacy in the relationship. There is a lot of trust that goes into the act of anal penetration.
Which means that if you can use anal sex to enhance her orgasm… AND build intimacy with her… then you’re pretty much going to get her hooked on you.
Here’s my personal favorite way to enhance a woman’s anal experience, and give her the kind of mind-blowing orgasms that get her totally hooked:
The Secret to Giving Her INSANE Anal Pleasure That She’ll Beg You for Over & Over Again…
When done right, anal sex can unleash the kind of pleasure that a woman has never felt before…
As a matter of fact, there’s one technique that I use DURING anal, that drives women absolutely insane with pleasure.
It’s called the “5-Finger Tantra Technique,” and it’s the fastest & easiest way I know to give a woman multiple orgasms during anal…
… though I have to warn you… you MUST be careful when you use it.
Women become very attached to men who can make them come… and utterly obsessed with men who can give them extreme orgasms like this.
I’m talking about intense, whole body, toe-curling, multiple, squirting orgasms…
She’ll get hooked on you like a bad addiction if you pull this off right. 😉
But I’ll be honest, I didn’t make this up… I first learned it from this video by Tantric Guru, Lawrence Lanoff: