Avoid Being Nervous Around Women… Or Better Yet, Show Them the “Attractive Nervousness” That Turns Them On
I want to let you in on a secret…
I get nervous around women ALL THE TIME. It’s actually how I got into this business.
I used to get so nervous around women, I couldn’t talk. I’d freeze up, and walk away…
and go home alone.
This is probably the most common problem for guys who are struggling with women: dealing with nerves.
Honestly, I still get nervous… I just don’t let it stop me.
I learned how to use this to my advantage.
That’s why in this video today, I’m going to teach you how I learned to go from a stuttering, knee-knocking guy, to going home with the hottest women in the room.
And the best part is, the techniques in this video won’t just help get the conversation started…
They lead all the way to the bedroom, faster than you might have thought was possible…
And with women you may have believed were way out of your league…
Be sure to watch the video all the way to the end, because I’ve got 3 specific physical tricks you can practice in the privacy of your own home:
Catch The Full Video Transcript Below…
Hey, what's up Ruwan here on behalf of Gotham club, and in today's video, I want to address something that guys ask me about all the time.
Today we are going to talk about getting nervous in the presence of a woman.
This is probably the most common experience of guys who are struggling with women who are looking to get better with they're dating lives.
Don’t Hit Delete On Your Nerves
Social anxiety is something I dealt with for a very long time.
It affected my self esteem greatly. For me, it was way more than just dating. It was how I viewed myself.
It became almost a spiritual adventure, learning how to deal with my nerves.
And this is not something you necessarily have to fight against. I used to think that I had to delete my nervous energy.
Obviously if you go up to a woman and you're all nervous and bumbling, it's not the most attractive thing, but it's not the nervousness itself that makes you unattractive, it's your reaction to it.
And that's an important point because when I got into this work, I immediately thought I had to get rid of all of these nervous feelings.
I took a lot of dating advice and I did all these things like try to control my feelings. And what happened was, I started to feel numb inside.
I started to interact in ways that didn't feel authentic to me.
I just felt so dead and empty. And I think it even led to sexual dysfunctions and emotional issues…
So really, don't try to delete your nervousness.
Why Women Don’t Want Perfection…
The thing to understand is that women want bravery.
They don't necessarily want perfection. If you try to force yourself to be perfect, but you have that lack of soul, it's going to be just as unattractive as a guy who's bumbling and trying to cover up his anxiety.
The first thing you should do about it is not try to hide it.
One of the most brave and bold things that I learned to say when I was feeling nervous, especially with an attractive woman was, “Hey, I'm really nervous about saying hello to you. But I thought you're really beautiful and I had to say hi.”
Sometimes I would completely stutter that entire sentence… but it always got a better reaction from the woman then if I came up with some really polished set of lines.
Why? Because women care about your emotional content, your expression.
So even though, you know, a person who's bumbling and shaking is not the ideal… It is so much more brave to admit to the fact you're nervous and not try to hide it and let your emotions be felt.
That in itself is so much braver than the thousands of guys who try to posture and pretend to be this perfect thing.
Why You Need to “Unkink Your Hose”… And How to Do It
You have to understand that nervous energy is just a temporary sensation.
There's something you want and there's a chance you won’t get it… so you’re gonna have this activation of energy in your body when you’re around a beautiful woman.
When there's something that actually matters in life, a critical moment in your life you are naturally going to have a little more energy.
The reason why people get nervous right before they speak is that for you to communicate with a large audience, you need to bring a lot more energy than your normal self.
RESEARCH REVEALS: This “Potion” Gets Girls to Chase You (Click For The Recipe)…
Think of your emotions as being like water coming through a hose:
If you clamp down on the hose, if you tense up or try to block it, the water pressure is still going to keep coming.
That's your nervous energy that causes things to shake.
And that might have you lose your ability to control your voice, might cause your body to stutter, shake or make your thoughts disappear.
What you want to do is leave the hose untouched where the water can flow out and water your lawn…
You need to be able to allow yourself to freely communicate.
The “Belly Poke” Test: Why It Works
A lot of guys when they're nervous, they'll clench their abs.
And naturally, clenching up, gives you an awkward smile. Not attractive.
If you could poke them in the belly, you'll see that they're clenched up.
It's a defensive thing. For some reason we feel this fear response, and we clench up our bodies.
So if you’re nervous, poke yourself in the belly. If you’re clenched, stop. (And, poking yourself may make you laugh, which will naturally make you stop clenching…)
Call Yourself Out (Say What?)
You know what else you can do with your nervous energy?
Recognize it. Call it out.
This is something I mentioned a little bit earlier as an example: It's not the nervousness by itself that's unattractive. It's the shame of it that makes you try to hide it.
So something you can do is call it out.
It feels awkward, but it can be as simple as saying out loud , “Hey, I'm really nervous right now.”
This is actually one of the most brave things you can do.
And women love it.
It demonstrates: Hey, I realize some part of me is not ideal. Like I'm coming off in a certain way that I don't really love. It's not the perfect thing.
Maybe it's making people feel awkward, but I'm okay with it.
I'm actually in full approval of it. And that makes people comfortable too.
What Works Better Than the “Picture Them Naked Trick”
I used to be very nervous about public speaking because I would literally shake.
I remember being in a speech once, that I actually had rehearsed a million times. I felt pretty good about it. I wasn’t nervous.
But then my legs still shook, and I was getting so frustrated.
And I could see that everyone in the front row of the audience was looking at my leg shaking.
It didn’t help to picture them naked… My leg was still shaking.
And instead of being ashamed, I looked down at my leg, and I laughed, and then everybody in the front row laughed and everything was cool.
And my legs still shook for a little bit, but then it stopped… because by simply acknowledging the thing, it became no big deal.
Everything was fine because the thing that made the audience uncomfortable was not that I was nervous. It was that I was feeling shitty about being nervous. And it made them feel shitty.
Once I could laugh it off, they could too.
It’s just like that when you talk to a woman.
What Women Think Is the Greatest Show of Strength (Hint: All Guys Get this Wrong)
You may have caught my videos on E.D. or other things that come with anxiety.
When you speak about it, you prevent it from being something that's put in the shame category.
But if you can be like, “Hey, I have this thing.” Whether it’s just feeling nervous right now or E.D., you take it out of the darkness.
You just put it out there,and often it will disappear because it's not a it's not something you're trying to hide.
Resisting, can make it persist.
As soon as you call it out, you might stop feeling nervous pretty quickly.
All that nervous energy will now translate into charisma or positive emotional expression, because vulnerability is the greatest display of strength.
Live Like a Mob Boss… Seriously
And I'll leave you with this example that actually comes from organized crime. (Stay with me, this sounds weird, but it makes sense.)
I'm a big nerd when it comes to organized crime– I used to follow organized crime a lot.
And when I was a kid, there was an assassination attempt on John Gotti, who was the head of the Gambino crime family at the time.
The next day (after the assassination attempt) you know what he did?
He went on to the streets of New York, put out his folding chair and read a newspaper in front of everybody.
Because that was the biggest power play. He didn't go around with armed guards. He put himself out there and said, “You know what, I'm not afraid of you. You know what, here I am, in all my nakedness do what you will.”
And is that kind of boldness that really gets respect…
How You Can Practice at Home…
Here are two things you can practice all the time:
1) If you feel like if you notice your abs are clenched, stop clenching your abs.
2) Also, if you notice you're not breathing, breathe.
You can do those two physical things any time you’re getting nervous, even if you’re alone, and just getting dressed or getting ready to go out.
Then, once you’re with people: call out whatever you're embarrassed about..
Whether it’s the fact that you are nervous, or that you are feeling a certain way… Just say it out loud.
By simply saying the thing, it'll no longer be something you're ashamed of.
It'll no longer be something that other people can judge you for because you don't judge yourself on it.
And then everything's ok.
These Tips Work for Any and Every Guy…
It's great to be nervous. It's you, being human.
Nerves and anxiety, is something I struggled with for a very long time.
I know these tips can work, because they worked for me.
This is something that I think is super useful for any guy who gets too nervous to speak or feels anxious…
Maybe English is your second language… or you're very shy.
You don't have to be talkative.
You don't have to be super confident to make this work.
You don't have to have a lot of money.
You don't have to be good looking, and you don’t need to be tall… I'm a pretty short guy myself. Haha.
Just remember those two specific tips I talked about above… and then there's this third tip you'll need to keep in mind:
The “Secret Ingredient” That Turns Hot Girls Into Putty In Your Hands…
Let’s talk about connecting with people for a second.
That’s really the “last step” here… but as a guy who’s naturally kind of shy myself, I know how tough connecting with other people can seem if you’re shy too.
Especially that moment where you’re really anxious… but trying to work up the nerve to go talk to a hot girl you’re really into.
So here’s an easy shortcut that worked for me and a bunch of other guys who are naturally shy and reserved:
Touch is great because (when done properly) it’s a really low-risk, “no words” way to connect with a girl.
After all… you’re gonna have to touch her eventually if you wanna hook up with her, right?
So might as well use it as a tool to make things easier on yourself, and get her interested in you.
Now here’s the catch: I DO NOT mean you should go up to every hot girl you see and start groping her.
Not only will you NOT hook up with any of these girls… but it’s probably illegal.
So here’s what I highly recommend:
The beauty of these touches is that you don’t really have to know the girl at all… and you can start using them right away…
But they just seem really “natural”… really “friendly”… and they work to turn hot girls on really fast.
My mentor Magic has a thick accent and these touches work for him.
I’m short (I’m 5’6”)… and these touches work for me…
So I’d highly recommend watching this video all the way through to get all 3 of Magic’s “innocent” touches that turn hot girls on fast… plus the exact sequence to use them in for fast sex.
You can thank me later 😉