Building Rapport Can Drastically Increase the Odds She’ll Come Home With You–Do You Know How It’s Done?
I love dating apps and meeting women online.
These technologies are awesome for screening and chatting with a lot of ladies, and they make it extremely easy to date a few women at the same time–which is my preference.
However, it’s no secret that building rapport, comfort & trust with a woman online can be kinda difficult.
And one thing that I’ve learned from my experiences in the online dating world is that some more “traditional” values that were around in the pre-online days still go a long way toward being successful in the online game.
Technology has turned the dating world on its head. And a lot of the ethics involved in the world of wooing have gone out the door.
Take honesty, for example–that’s what I want to talk about today.
How Being Honest With Women Can Pay Off in the Long Run…
Honesty is a pretty broad term, but it basically means that you tell the truth. That’s always been an important component of dating.
There’s always been the potential for dishonesty in the realm of dating–and it’s always happened. But it used to be harder to get away with.
Today’s dating technology makes it much easier to be dishonest. Believe me: I’ve been there and done that.
When I first started dating online, I largely disregarded some of the most important aspects of what the women I dated said they were looking for.
Or worse, I would just go along with things in order to get a date or seal the deal.
Exclusive LTR? Of course, that’s what I’m looking for, too! (I wasn’t and am not.)
Want kids? I love kids! (I have two–and a vasectomy.)
Moreover, anyone who’s dated online for a while has likely experienced a disconnect between a profile picture and the real person.
For example, maybe in real life she doesn’t look AT ALL like her online picture. And it’s usually not an improvement.
At one point, I was dating two women who both thought I was in an exclusive long-term relationship with them while continuing to meet and chat with other women online.
As you can probably guess, neither of those relationships worked out–nor did they end particularly well.
Let’s just say that I don’t really chat with either lady, anymore.
What Happens if You Get Caught in A Lie?
So, all of a sudden, I found myself back at square one.
And I realized that I had to rethink my dating game if I wanted to balance multiple relationships without hurting my partners.
The key, I realized, is honesty.
Honesty is important for a couple reasons.
First, you’ll be more comfortable and act like a better human being because you’re not hiding anything or lying just to get what you want.
Second, the woman you’re with will respect and trust you more, which will lead to a better, stronger relationship–even if you’re not exclusive.
The flipside is that if she thinks–or finds out–that you’re lying, it will put a strain on, or potentially even end, the connection you have with her.
And then you’ll have to start over.
How To Build Rapport Online (Before You Meet Her)…
In online dating, honesty has to begin with your profile.
Use real, recent pictures. Of course you can adjust the angles to present yourself in the best light–in fact, you should.
Not caring about the photos you post in your profile doesn’t make a very good impression.
Also, be careful what you write in the profile. Don’t lie.
But also don’t overshare: being too specific or gushing with too much information will limit prospects.
When you’re crafting an online dating profile, it’s best to be honest but general.
As you look through women’s profiles, be sure to read them.
No matter how hot she is, if there’s a dealbreaker in the profile–whether politics, religion, celibacy, kids, whatever–don’t swipe right. You can’t overcome the dealbreaker without lying, and when you get busted (and you will), it will be ugly.
You’re not here to convert women to your point of view. You’re here to date.
But What About In Person?
The next online opportunity you’ll have for honesty will be chatting. Ask and answer questions, but don’t lie. Simple as that.
And if you don’t know, say you don’t know!
The best way for you to be, and remain, honest is to get to know yourself a little better. Know what you want and understand how you act or react in certain situations.
Do you want a long-term commitment with The One?
Are you just dating casually?
Do you fall in love easily?
Get to know yourself–that way you can be honest about who you are.
Then you have to be able to continue this honesty when you meet her in real life.
When a woman asks me what I want from a relationship, I tell the truth. For me, the truth is that I don’t really know.
I’m just looking for a connection: some chemistry, some things in common, and and an openness to seeing where things go.
Am I looking for an exclusive LTR? Right now, no. Am I against the possibility of it happening? No.
I fall in love easily. I love all the women I date, and maybe someday I’ll actually fall all over myself for one again. This is where honesty with yourself is important.
If you know what you want–and don’t want–and can articulate it in a thoughtful manner, she will respect and trust you. And that’s a huge step forward in getting her to come home with you.
Can Too Much Honesty Push Her Away?
Let’s be clear though. Honesty does not have to be brutal.
Instead, you have to balance it against the feelings of the woman you’re talking to.
In my case, I try and date a few (three or four, usually) women at a time. They all know that I am not in an exclusive relationship with them, or anyone else.
However, I also don’t look at my watch and say, “Well Jenny, it’s been fun, but I have to go bang Michelle now.”
Communication is key. I respond to messages, am open with my schedule, and see them all on a regular basis.
Even though we’re not exclusive–and I am careful not to let them think that–they see me as reliable and honest.
On the other hand, I don’t expect any more from them than I am offering. A lot of times, they may be looking for a more exclusive relationship.
And for a while, some may think that they can change my mind.
When they don’t, though, they stick around anyway. Or meet someone who is a better long-term prospect than I am. And a new lady enters the rotation.
This works for me and, as far as I can tell, for the women I’m dating. If it doesn’t work out, we almost always remain friends, and sometimes we hook up again. And that’s because of relationships built on honesty.
But beyond being honest, is there anything else you can do to quickly build that rapport that makes her want you romantically?
In my experience, the answer is definitely “yes”–and here’s what it is:
The “Comfort Touch”: How To Connect With Her Without Saying One Word…
Being honest with a woman can take you a long way… and can keep her “generally” interested in you…
Though if you want her to eventually get sexual with you… then she needs to feel that “spark” with you as well.
And as our community members have said time and time again… the easiest way to do that… is to touch her.
(Sure, you could use words & specific “lines”… however, these only work in VERY specific scenarios. Touch is much more universal.)
And one kind of touch that’s been working really well for guys in our community lately is called the “Comfort Touch.”
Because yeah, it builds that “comfort” that most women need to open up to you… and it often seems to make her feel “sexual chemistry” with you too…
…but unlike these “touch tricks” you may have seen on other dating sites… it’s not “creepy” or “grope-y”… and it only takes like 2-3 seconds to do.
It’s great for guys who aren’t super “talkative”… or who are maybe a little “shy”… because as long as you use the touch properly… what you say to her doesn’t really matter much at all. 🙂
One of our shiest community members, Alec, even told me that this “Comfort Touch” got him laid on the first date (which he also confessed had NEVER happened to him before).
To be honest, the technique itself is kinda hard to put into words… though our community resource will show you how it’s done & why it works so well:
Discover The “Comfort Touch”: How To Connect With Her Without Saying One Word…
