Today I’m going to speak about a subject that hits very close to home for me. It’s one of the most humiliating experiences for any guy:
What do you do when you can’t get it up?
This question is actually why I got into studying sexuality in the first place — I went through a period where I had trouble getting it up and I didn’t know why.
All I knew is that it was a mental issue.
So if you’ve ever experienced anything like that before, then the first thing I want you to know is that you’re not alone.
I’ve coached a ton of guys who have this issue. It’s actually quite common for younger men.
I think the main reason is because of internet porn. I’ve seen it happen way more for guys who are born after 1985.
I think that being able to click from naked woman to naked woman messes with your attention span when it comes to sex. It also disconnects you from your body.
So just know that there are a lot of guys out there suffering from this problem, and you’re not some strange anomaly if every once in a while (or even a lot of times) you have an issue getting it up.
I’m going to give you 3 things to do if you’re in this situation and want to get it up. Beginning with the easiest step first:
1) Breathe Into Your Balls
The first thing to do if you realize you’re having trouble getting it up is to breathe deeply into your balls.
A lot of times, when you’re stressed because of expectations or you’re just not aroused, your body just stops breathing.
Why does this matter?
Breathing helps to maintain your relaxation, and it also keeps your carbon dioxide levels low. High carbon dioxide levels are associated with anxiety, so if you aren’t breathing enough, then it can make you anxious.
So breathe deeply — that’s the first step.
(Plus, breathing deeply is healthy for you! It’s a win-win.)
The second step is a little more abstract, but it’s also more important:
Respect the c**k.
What I mean by this is to respect your own d**k. Like if you’re trying to have sex but your d**k clearly doesn’t want to have sex, then there’s a disconnect between you and your d**k.
It sounds silly, but if you personify your d**k — think of it as your buddy — you’re being a d**k to your d**k if you’re forcing it to have sex.
So pay attention to your d**k. What does it actually want?
Because if it’s not hard, then it very obviously doesn’t want to have sex.
Maybe you need to chill out for a minute. Or maybe you’re putting too much pressure on yourself.
The thing I’m telling you to do is to pay attention to what your d**k actually wants so you can take the pressure off of you.
Maybe you want to cuddle — so do that! Pay attention to what feels good, and go with it.
So breathe deeply, and respect your c**k. Those are the first two steps.
And here’s step three:
3) Call It Out
This last step is the scariest thing for most guys, but I think this is the most effective one in the long run.
Just call it out.
This can seem really scary because at this moment you’re probably feeling humiliated — you’re worried about what she thinks.
The irony is that that’s probably causing the issue in the first place!
Calling it out and letting yourself be seen that way — basically calling out your own shame — will eliminate the shame completely. Anytime you feel shame, you’re trying to hide something, and a limp d**k is often a sign of some sort of shame.
Say, “Listen, for whatever reason, my c**k is not getting hard…”
Or, “Listen, this is not about you. I have this issue every once in a while. I don’t know why it happens, and I’m a little bit embarrassed about it, but just know that it’s not about you.
Just be honest. And in the name of honesty, I’ll tell you that yes, she may judge you for it.
However, in my experience (I’ve done this a lot of times), she’ll understand. And the magic of it is that when you call it out, the problem might actually go away.
If you realize that she’s OK with your d**k not working, it takes all of the pressure off and very often, your c**k will get hard.
But if you don’t have time for this 3-step solution… it’s OK. I get it — it takes time.
I’ve got something that can help you out even faster:
No Time For the 3 Steps? Try This “Performance-Boosting” Shortcut…
I may be a bit biased, but I truly believe the 3 steps above are the best way to solve E.D. without pills…
Though if you don’t have true E.D., and you want a faster way to maximize your performance in bed… or make the most of what you have…
Then I’ve got a highly effective shortcut for you.
He’s the world’s oldest pornstar… and even though he’s in his freaking 70’s… he can still pleasure multiple hot, younger pornstars… sometimes for hours at a time… and he gives all the credit to these 5 foods.
A couple of them are exotic… though most are basic pantry “staples”… you can check this out to see what they are:
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