Discover The Common Dating Tips for Shy Guys That May Be Killing Your Game–Plus The Tips That Get Her Home With You…
If you’ve ever Googled “dating advice,” then you know there’s a lot of information out there…
Some of it is really phenomenal… and some of it straight-up sucks.
Yeah, you can “do your research,” and try to figure out if a source is credible. But that takes a lot of time–and it also requires a very specific skillset.
This is especially true of dating advice for “shy” or “introverted” guys. If you’re on the quiet side, that comes with its own specific set of challenges–and there’s a lot of crappy advice out there that can get you in trouble.
Wiliam Chou, over at The Good Men Project, knows this all too well–so today, thanks to his help, I’m going to dispel three of the most common pieces of “dating advice” for shy guys that almost never work…
Plus, I’ll show you the “fixes” you can use to start attracting more hot women right away. 🙂
1) “Just Interact With More People”
This is a commonly handed out piece of advice that is not completely accurate.
The thinking behind this idea is that when you talk to more people, women will see you as a fun, more social guy.
After noticing this about you, these supposed women will then approach you, and it takes all of the pressure off of you.
Chou, on the other hand, says that after many attempts at this style of picking up women, this reverse-psychology strategy has almost never worked.
Unless he was in a dance class, Chou never had women flocking to him, no matter how many cooking classes, concerts, or parties he went to.
I’m not sure where this advice first started, or why it continues to circulate, but I think there’s something to be said for quiet guys in public.
The Fix: Become The “Calm, Cool & Collected Guy”
For me, if I’m at a party, or meeting new people for the first time, I always notice the quiet guy. And a lot of my girlfriends do too.
I see it as a challenge to get him to talk to me, so I immediately approach him, trying to make any kind of conversation.
Now, if he gets super awkward, or the conversation goes dry, I leave and don’t turn back. You have to realize it’s OK if this happens–you’re not going to mesh with every woman you meet.
However, there are ways to combat this.
With most of the quiet guys I’ve encountered that I’ve kept talking to, they always have one surprising thing that makes them interesting. This one thing makes the chat go from “small talk” to an actual conversation with depth.
Once you get to the depth part, then you can actually start figuring out if this woman is someone you can see a future with, or just one night. 😉
2) “It’s Just a Numbers Game”
To say that meeting women is just a numbers game is to completely take the human aspect out of it.
This is exactly what you don’t want.
The minute you start looking at talking to women as a “numbers game” is the minute you fail. You won’t be able to think about each woman as a unique experience–you’ll only be able to focus on what your ratio up to this point is.
This thinking will lessen your emotional investment into each experience.
And as a result, it will destroy any chance you initially had with each particular woman.
The Fix: Focus On Quality Over Quantity
It’s OK to remember a “ballpark” number, but don’t focus your entire game around it.
Chou reminds guys that it’s not about the quantity, but the quality.
He says that the amount of women you talk to doesn’t matter if you’re having really awful conversations and meetings with every one of them.
I mean, it makes sense–right?
Now, if you only talk to three women in a week or two, but you really hit it off with one or two of them, then you’re doing great. You’re working smarter, not harder.
Make sure that your focus is to make the best out of each singular meeting, not what number she is on your list.
3) “Man Up and Ask Strangers Out”
This might be the most enticing piece of advice for the shy guy.
This type of mantra gives you some courage for a couple of seconds–and it also gives you the false sense that all you’re missing is the courage.
Though in reality, this false sense of courage can be dangerous.
It’s scary going up to a random woman and basically cold-calling her. Let me tell you, I couldn’t do it, and I don’t know if once you do it, it ever gets easier.
Chou certainly doesn’t think so.
He still wants to throw up every time he starts to approach a stranger, and even after the initial contact, he’s still nervous.
The Fix: Start Slow
Chou believes that the approach is only one part of the puzzle. Yeah, sure, you got the courage to go up to her, but now what?
You have to establish a base connection of mutual trust and–I hate to say it–that doesn’t happen with these “cold-calls.”
All my girlfriends & I agree, when a guy just walks up to us, there’s not enough time for us to figure out if any “sexual chemistry” is there, because everything is happening so fast.
So what can you do instead?
Try to establish a connection before you ask her out, and throw this “cold-calling” advice out the window.
Allow me to illustrate this point with a story of my own:
One time this guy asked me to let him into the campus library because his card wasn’t working.
Obviously, this was a line, but I just played along, let him in, and ended up keeping him company while he attempted to do some homework.
I left the library at 12 A.M. that night thinking, “OK, that was weird, I don’t think I’ll do that again.”
A couple weeks later, though, we were still in touch. I mentioned that first day to him and he started laughing.
He asked if I wanted to know something, then proceeded to tell me his version of that night.
“I was a little drunk when I met up with you,” he said.
I was shocked–I had never really hung out with this guy before so I didn’t know what his normal was, but I never thought he was intoxicated.
“Yeah, I had been watching the [baseball] game,” he told me, “and then I was super nervous to meet you and I didn’t think I’d be able to talk to you without some liquid courage.”
The point I’m trying to make isn’t that you should drink before approaching women–it’s that you just need a way to get it done.
Which brings me to my final piece of advice that can help you meet more women & get laid fast…
The #1 Dating Tip PROVEN to Lead to More Sex (And Less Rejection)…
…has to be this one:
“Only go after the girls who you know are interested in you.”
Not only does this save you a ton of time & energy… but it also practically eliminates any chance of rejection…
The problem is… for most guys, this piece of advice is absolutely useless… because they don’t know HOW to spot these girls who are already interested in them…
… and you know what? It’s not your fault.
In fact, studies show that the male brain is simply not hardwired to pick up on a woman’s subtle cues… which is why I want to show you this list:
These are surefire signs that a woman wants to sleep with you… and once you know how to spot them, you might be surprised to see just how many hot women want sex with you right now. 😉
However, I should warn you… if you want to “seal the deal” with these women… then there is one more thing you MUST do:
If you’re quiet or even a little shy… this “trick” is the fastest way I know to skip over the small talk, and get straight to sex…
(…and if you’ve ever seen an “average” guy with a model-hot girl on this arm, 9/10 times, it’s because he did this.)