How to Take Control of Your Dating Life After Divorce

divorce tips for men

Divorce Tips for Men Who Are Ready to Move Forward

So you’re divorced and ready to jump back into the dating game. Congrats! This is a big step.

You’re single again and can do what you want…and that feels pretty damn good.

But here’s the thing about divorce: it’s nearly impossible to avoid it on a first date.

Just take it from me — after I got divorced, I did everything in my power to hide it from women I met. And after being rejected over and over, I learned that this is a huge mistake.

So how do you address your divorce on a date without driving her away?

Today, I’m going to show you with my 3 essential rules:

Rule #1: The Best Way to Handle Your Date’s Questions About Your Ex

If you’re recently divorced, it’s probably been a while since your last date. And for that reason, it’s completely normal for you to be nervous.

When you meet a new woman, she’ll have questions — often many — about your current status.

So don’t lie, and don’t dress up the truth. If you’re not 100% divorced yet, don’t tell her you are. This will only come back to bite you later on.

On the other hand, you want to keep it positive.

For example, if your date asks about your ex, don’t bash her. No matter how terrible she was to you, keep it as positive and objective as possible.

Women want to know about your situation, but dissing your ex is a major turn-off for her.

Why?

Unless your date just parachuted into the city from a remote jungle, she’s probably en ex:

  • An ex-wife…
  • Ex-girlfriend…
  • Ex-lover…

So if you start ripping on your ex, your date might feel sympathetic toward her. And in turn, it might cause her to suspect that you — not your ex — were the problem with the marriage.

Now, that doesn’t mean you should be singing ex’s praises, either. If you’re too positive about her, you’ll sound like you’re not over your marriage. And that’s also bad.

It’s important to walk a fine line of facts without opinion. You think your ex is the worst thing that ever happened to you?

Instead try, “We just didn’t communicate well.”

You think your ex is awesome, and you don’t know why you got divorced?

How about, “We grew apart and made a mutual decision to part ways.”

She cheated on you? Try this:

“My ex cheated on me. With my brother AND his UPS guy.”

Let your date draw her own conclusions about your ex.

Rule #2: Your Kids Are the Best! (But Keep it to Yourself)

This is the rule that I break most often – and I sometimes wonder if it didn’t cost me a date or two.

Your kids, like mine, are probably the most awesome in the world. So when your date asks about your kids, describe them. But only briefly.

Women like to see that you’re a loving father — that’s a sign you’re a provider — but they don’t want you to yammer on about your children for hours.

So answer the questions she has about your kids, but don’t introduce the topic unless she starts talking about her kids first.

Now, she may go on and on (and on) about her own kids…

But if that’s the case, there’s nothing you can do. It may seem unfair, yet it’s the way of the world.

Women want you to listen to them, but they also want you to focus on them. And on a first date, it’s important to do both.

So on your first date, keep the conversation as local as possible: Nobody beyond the table.

She wants to know that you’re a good dad, but she also wants to know that you’re paying attention to her instead of thinking about your kids – or your ex!

So What Details Can You Share?

A lot of what I’m telling you is about what not to do, what not to say, and how not to act. I know it sounds negative…but I can’t stress how important it is to handle the subject of your divorce with care as you jump back into the dating pool.

And that’s because divorce is an emotional topic — you may still be angry about how your wife and her lawyer treated you during the process…

Or maybe you came away with less than you thought…

Your kids spend more days with your ex than with you…

And you’re a little bitter. But if you don’t want your date to grind to an awkward halt, it’s best to leave your baggage at home (for now).

Now, some women will probe you, and they’ll want to know all the details — don’t give into her prying.

She might ask if you kept the house, or how often your kids are with you, but at the end of the day, the details of your divorce are a private matter that have no place at a first date.

Think about it:

What if she started going on and on about the dirty details of her divorce? Not super sexy, right?

You don’t want to hear more about the subject of divorce than you already have…and your date probably doesn’t, either.

Instead, focus on her — your main goal should be to figure out just how interested she is in you.

And here’s how I learned to do that:

divorce-1

Rule #3: How to Recognize Her 7 Signs of Sexual Attraction

Women today are so much harder to read than they used to be.

Post-divorce I’d think a woman was into me…but then I’d ask for her number and <BAM>, instant rejection.

How could I get back up to speed? Can an old dog really learn new tricks?

I used my extra free time to look for an answer…

And that’s when I found this: The 7 Signs of Sexual Attraction that women give off when they’re interested in you.

They’re pretty subtle…

But they’re dead giveaways that a woman is into you — so on a first date, you’ll know with nearly 100% certainty if she secretly wants you.

So check them out — you’ll love them:

The 7 Signs of Sexual Attraction That Reveal Her True Level of Interest…

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