How Much Should a Guy Spend on a First Date in NYC?

Can You Impress Her Without Breaking the Bank? Here’s the Surprising Truth…

We’ve all been there: You dropped big bucks on a first date, and all you get out of it is a backside view of the fleeing lady who’s out the door before the ink on your credit card slip is dry.

She’s fuller, your wallet is emptier; you’ll never see her (or your dollars) again.

Don’t worry — you’re not the only one who’s fallen for this trick. I’m a wily old dater, and sometimes even I still get stuck with a first date tab and no second date love.

So, if you don’t know whether you’re dealing with a legit lady or a hungry tease, how much should you spend on a first date in NYC?

I Looked at Dozens of Studies and Reached Out to an Expert, and Here’s What I Found…

As little as possible ,but never more than $100.

A hundred bucks?! Yep. But remember, that’s not how much you really should spend. It’s your ceiling.

Why $100?

Even though splitting checks is more common these days, Glamour magazine says that almost half of singles (can you guess which half?) still expect the guy to foot the bill for a first date. Fewer than half of women surveyed, though, don’t even want an expensive first date.

This means that about half the women out there are either “down-to-earth-lets-do-something-outside-and-free”gals…

Or they’re worried you won’t pony up.

So, chances are, if you don’t reach for that check, you’re going to get an awkward moment that will torpedo any chances of the date going any further.

In fact, national surveys say that a guy should expect to spend $50-$100 on a first date. Because food and beverages cost about 25% more in NYC, let’s just set the expectation at an even $100.

Now, a hundred bucks isn’t a huge number, but remember — it’s just for backup, in case Plan A fails.

Plus, if she bails, you can take that $100 to the nearest bar and easily spend it on some good whiskey (and you never know who you might meet there, too).

If You’re Paying, You’re In Charge!

If you’re an active online or app dater, you probably go on a lot of first dates. And if you expect to pay, you need to be in charge of every aspect of the date…

But it’s important to do it in a way that allows her to have some input — otherwise, she’ll expect you to do everything for her on every single date going forward.

In order to save as much money as you can, it’s good to have a list of first date ideas that you know won’t break the bank.

Then you can give her a few ideas off of your list and have her choose from them. That way she’ll feel like she was part of the plan all along.

Here are a few examples:

If she’s a native New Yorker, chances are she hasn’t done anything really “touristy” lately. Take her on a sunset ferry ride or head to one of the park-side museums, like the Met or the Natural History Museum.

To add some romance, you could grab a bite and a glass of wine from a nearby café and enjoy the park view before taking a stroll.

You could also find a free concert. Here’s a pro tip: Don’t tell her it’s free! Just say, “So-and-so is playing in the Village — wanna go?”

When you make your list of date ideas, there are 2 important things to remember:

1) No more than $100 for two people, including tips, and…

2) All of the activities should be things that YOU like to do. That way, you can still have some fun…even if there’s no spark.

Which brings me to my next piece of advice…

Two Words: Happy Hour!

Happy hour is by far my favorite first date activity. Here’s the thing about happy hour, though: You should never let her know you’re choosing a place because of the happy hour.

For example, instead of asking, “Wanna go to happy hour at Zest?”

Try…

“Wanna grab sushi at Zest?” Then just plan the date during happy hour.

Happy hours are an awesome way to control the cost of a date without looking “cheap” or using a coupon (by the way, NEVER use a coupon on first date).

Because this is a first date, it’s fine to plan it a little earlier in the day — you can always say you’ve got a hectic work schedule and can only get together at a time during one of your favorite local happy hours.

So before you plan the date, get online (Yelp is a good place to start) and look up some happy hours. Pick your favorites and add them to your ongoing list of first date ideas.

Include times and types of food included. That way you can say, “How about sushi? I know a great spot! Does 5:00 work?”

You might be wondering why I keep mentioning sushi…

Well, according to a Match.com survey, sushi on a first date increases your chances of landing a second date by 170% — probably because she’ll want more sushi.

Glenn, one of our thought leaders here at Gotham, says to always meet for drinks first — that way you can take turns buying rounds of drinks.

Just say, “I’ll get the first round, you get the second. Cool?”

As Glenn notes, this establishes a dating pattern where you won’t always be expected to buy. If she objects to this idea, chances are she’ll expect you to pay for everything on every single date — not the kind of woman you want a long-term relationship with.

So is that it? Don’t spend more than $100, make a list of date ideas, and keep it simple?

Not exactly…

The Exception to My “$100” Rule…

I’m old fashioned. I don’t mind paying for a pretty lady’s dinner, even if I’m never going to see her again…

But I’m also wise: we’re not going to an expensive, trendy restaurant on first date. Don’t go anywhere where two drinks, an appetizer, two entrees and a dessert will set you back more than $100 (including tip).

However…

There are occasionally exceptions.

In our online world, more first dates are blind dates than ever before. Those are the ones you really have to watch out for — never ever spend more than $100 on a blind first date with a woman you barely know.

On the other hand, if you’re going on a date with a woman you’ve met before — a friend of a friend or a coworker, for example — your chances of landing a second date are already better. So in this case, it can greatly benefit you to spend a little extra time planning…and possibly a little extra dough, too.

Here’s the bottom line: Don’t be afraid to impress her, but don’t go overboard.

I know this is a lot of information to take in…and this is only the first date!

But what if you could know what to say…what to spend…how to act…

On every single date with every single woman you go out with?

If that sounds like something you want, then keep reading…