The First Date Tips You Need to Make Her Want a Second (And a Third, And a Fourth…)
There are few things worse than going on what you thought was a great first date with a super hot girl you’re totally into…
And then never hearing from her ever again.
The honest truth is that most guys are really bad at first dates.
In fact, if you’re reading this, chances are you suck at first dates.
But it’s not your fault!
Maybe no one has ever sat you down and explained what you need to do on a first date to guarantee a second one…
Or maybe you just haven’t had enough experience.
Shelley’s covered the 10 reasons she might say “Hell no!” to a second date, but I’m here to talk about what you can do to make her say “Hell yes!”
I’m going to show you, step-by-step, how you can land a second date with any woman — guaranteed.
Ready? Let’s get started.
What’s Really Going on Here?
In my experience, there are three major reasons why you might not get a second date with a woman:
1) You’re boring.
The biggest reason why guys don’t get second dates is that they flat out bore the woman.
No one wants to believe that they’re boring, but think about it like this — the girl must have been attracted to you at some point if she agreed to go on a date with you.
No woman is going to take time out of her busy schedule to meet a guy who makes her yawn.
I’d even go one step further and say that women go on dates wanting you to do well.
They’re hoping you’ll be interesting, but the truth is that the majority of men let them down.
If you asked her out, the burden of keeping the date fun and interesting is on you — not her.
Later on in this article, I’ll tell you exactly how to avoid boring women, but for now let’s move on to the second major reason you might not be getting that second date.
2) You don’t form a connection with her.
After being bored, the second major reason a woman won’t go out with you again is because she doesn’t feel like she made a connection with you.
The connection doesn’t have to be deep — in fact, it can be pretty superficial!
But you have to establish that there is some sort of bond between you, even if it’s as simple as having the same taste in movies or music.
Without a connection, she might ignore the fact that she’s attracted to you because she doesn’t see any long-term future with you.
Even a woman who is attracted to you will choose not to go out with you again if she doesn’t feel like the two of you have any common ground.
Let’s move on to reason number three.
3) You aren’t acting interested in her.
The last reason you might not be landing that second date is because you’re not demonstrating enough interest in her.
If you don’t act like you’re into her, she’ll either assume you’re a player or you really aren’t into her (despite the fact that you asked her out).
This is the most common reason guys don’t get second dates when they feel like the first date went well.
If you know you didn’t bore her and you feel like you formed a connection, I can almost guarantee that you didn’t let her know you liked her enough if you aren’t getting a second date.
Letting a girl know you like her is not the same as letting her know you’re physically and sexually attracted to her.
I’m going to show you exactly what to say to let a woman know you like her in a second, but for now just realize that telling her you’re physically attracted to her will never land you a second date.
Knowing these three mistakes is enormously helpful, but it’s not the whole story — you have to know how to prevent and fix them in any situation.
The best way to do that is to show you exactly what you should be doing on a date.
This Is What You Do
Here are six things you can do on your next first date to make her not just anticipate — but crave — a second one (and a third…).
1) Use the same date structure every time.
I’ve been going on the same date since 2006. It’s been over a decade in 10 different cities, but my date has never changed.
Because it works!
There’s no reason to reinvent the wheel or be overly creative with your dates. As Glenn has mentioned, adventure dates are occasionally OK, but never as a first date.
In fact, a date that’s too interesting will often get in the way of your ability to form a connection with that woman.
The date I’ve been going on for over 10 years that always ends with me seeing the woman again — and often sleeping with her that night — is very simple.
It’s a drinks date…
But the details are what make it work.
The first detail is that it needs to start at your place. Have the girl meet you there so you can drive or walk to the bar together.
When she arrives, briefly have her come in…
But don’t make a move on her.
This will get her comfortable being in your place, and it will also show her it’s safe to be alone with you without you groping or pawing at her.
After that, it’s important to use what I call “multiple venue loops.”
Have one drink at the first bar you go to, then have your next drink at another bar or venue within walking distance of the first.
Not only does walking allow you to physically escalate by holding her hand or going for a ninja kiss at a crosswalk — it also helps you bond (AKA form a connection) with her.
At your second bar or venue, have another drink, a dessert, or something light to eat.
This is also when you’re going to plant the idea of going back to your place in her mind.
You don’t have to make it obvious, but let her know that she’s welcome back there later.
Then you’ll go to a third bar or venue.
This “multiple venue loops” strategy gives the effect of time distortion, meaning that the more places you spend time with her, the longer she’ll feel like she’s known you.
This also prevents her from getting bored.
After the third bar or venue, you want to invite her back to your place.
Even if she doesn’t come back with you, by inviting her back you’re letting her know you’re interested in her — this eliminates the interest problem.
Now that you have the structure of the date, let’s fill it in with what you need to do and say in order to guarantee a second date.
2) Exchange two-minute life stories.
One thing I like to do on every date is exchange what I call “two-minute life stories.”
In order for a woman to feel comfortable enough to go out with you on a second date (let alone sleep with you), she needs to know certain information about you.
The easiest way to provide her with this “getting to know you” information without it turning into a boring interview is to exchange two-minute life stories.
You could start it off by saying, “I want to know more about you — let’s exchange two-minute life stories.”
I always like to go first — this will make her feel comfortable and avoids putting her on the spot.
In fact, this is an exercise you shouldn’t try for your very first time when you’re actually on a date. If you want to be successful, you need to practice.
Take a few minutes right now to think about your two-minute life story. You don’t need a ton of details, but take the basics from where you were born and who your family is through how you became the person you are today.
Do this now, and you’ll look even smoother on your dates.
3) Make her think about a second date with you.
Just like you casually mention going back to your place before trying to get her to go there, you want to plant the idea of a second date in her head before you actually plan it.
During the date, bring up another activity you can do together. It doesn’t matter what it is — a concert, a yoga class, whatever — just as long as you do it.
Of course, it helps if the activity is a common interest for the two of you.
Don’t try and get her to commit to the activity right away. You want to plant the idea of a second date during the date, and then plan the activity after the date.
By making her think about the next time she sees you, you not only have a partially formed plan already, but you’ll avoid the awkward “What are we going to do?” conversation about the second date.
That’s Not All…
4) Share at least one thing you’re passionate about!
Remember when I talked about how the biggest mistake guys make is boring women?
An easy solution for that is to talk about things that make you feel excited — AKA your passions.
L.M. touched on why sharing your passions with women will get you out of the friend zone last week, but it can also work as a way to land a second date.
Enthusiasm is contagious, and even the most boring subject (computer programming, anyone?) can be made to sound interesting if the speaker is passionate and enthusiastic.
A great way to practice this before your next date is to write down a list of 10 things you’re passionate about beforehand.
On your date, try to bring up as many of them as you can.
5) Touch more.
Another major mistake you might be making is not touching your date enough.
I have never had a client who touched his date too much.
In fact, when I was younger, I specifically went out for a month and tried to overdo the touching. What I learned was you can get away with way more touching than you think you can!
In order to touch her as much as you can, you need to make sure there isn’t an obstacle, such as a table, separating your bodies.
Look for two seats at the bar or maybe a booth where you can sit next to each other. This allows for lots of incidental touching, such as putting your leg next to hers.
Walking from bar to bar or venue to venue will also allow you to touch her more than you would be able to on a traditional, one-restaurant or one-bar date.
6) Follow up.
The final way you can guarantee a second date is to follow up with her that same night.
After the date ends, be sure to send a text to let her know you had fun and would like to do whatever activity you mentioned earlier with a specific time and date.
The more specific you are in your follow-up, the better the chances are she says “Yes!” to a second date.
Think about it from her perspective — saying “Yes” to an activity you both talked about on the first date is much less work than having her plan the date herself.
In fact, it’s not uncommon for me to get a girl to agree to the second date before the first date is even over.
If you feel like you’re coming on too strong or you’re worried about being needy, then you can wait until the next day to text her…
Just be sure to mention a specific day and time for the second date you planted in her mind.
It’s true that these strategies require you to put in some work — but if you’re going on a first date, you’re putting in a good amount of work anyway.
The more you use these strategies, the more your hard work will pay off — trust me.
Here’s What You Should Do Next
Earlier, I talked about how you can get away with more touching on a date than you think.
You might be thinking, “Yeah, I want to touch her, but I have no idea how!”
Well, you’re not alone — Craig’s here to help.
Did you know that women feel up to 10 times more sensation on their skin than guys do?
That means that you can make her feel all sorts of sensations just by brushing her arm…
Or grazing her neck…
But if you touch her in the wrong way or the wrong place, you’re done.
That’s why Craig put together an article explaining why touching a woman is often a more powerful way to communicate with her than talking to her — seriously.
There are just a few key places women crave a man’s touch …
And by knowing what they are, you’ll be light-years ahead of your competition.
Just click here now to learn the places you can touch a woman to drive her wild with desire and how you can make her do almost anything without saying a word…