Flirting At the Gym Is Easier Than You Ever Imagined–Here's How to Get Her From the Elliptical Back to Your Place…
For most guys, the gym is the scariest place on earth to walk up to a woman and try to flirt with her. And to be 100% honest, I can understand their fears.
Heck, I was scared s–tless of these places myself when I first started learning how to approach women. So what are they?
1. The gym, and…
2. Public transportation.
Now, if you don’t live in a major city then chances are you’ll never have to worry about taking a train or a bus. That’s why I’m going to focus on the gym today.
The Huge Mistake That Opened My Eyes to This Flirting “Secret”…
I would estimate I’ve been asked how to meet women in the gym 1,000 or more times since I started coaching:
- “Glenn, I see so many hot women at the gym. How do I meet them?”
- “Glenn, women in the gym look they don’t want to be bothered and I don’t want to offend them.”
- “Glenn, everyone will see and hear me.”
- “Glenn, she’s wearing headphones and listening to music. That must mean she doesn’t want to talk to anybody.”
I can sit here and probably write another few hundred excuses that I’ve heard about why guys feel like they “can’t” approach women at the gym.
Heck, when I first started out these were the exact same excuses I would say to myself.
Speaking of which…I remember one time in particular back in the beginning of my journey when I was at the gym, and I noticed one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen.
She was perfect for me — exactly my type. I wanted to approach her so badly. I just had to find the perfect moment.
I was scared and nervous as hell…but I needed to meet her. So when I finally saw her in a corner of the gym all by herself with no one else around, I moved in for the kill.
I knew exactly what I was going to say. I was ready — but when I walked up to the little area where she was doing her stomach exercises, I FROZE!
I kept saying to myself over and over again that only perverts approach women in the gym. It’s creepy. She’s working out, she doesn’t want to meet guys…
I was using all the same excuses my clients use today. But over time, I learned one very important thing from my mistake…
2 Excuses Every Girl at the Gym Uses to Push Guys Away (PLUS: How to Get Around Them)
After that traumatic experience, I was stuck in my head for days:
- How could I let this happen?
- What’s wrong with me?
- If I ever see her again I will approach her no matter what’s going on in my mind…
But as you may have guessed, that day never came. I never saw her again, and even now — 10 years later — I can still remember the feeling I had after I froze.
Sound familiar? I’ll bet it does. We’ve all experienced this kind of fear before.
Fear is a very deeply rooted emotion that takes a lot of hard work to overcome. I’m not going to lie to you and say it’s easy to overcome, because it’s not…but trust me when I tell you that fear CAN be overcome.
Here’s something I used to help me get rid of my fear:
When you’re at the gym, in the back of your head, remember that every woman there — whether she’s single or not — would love the opportunity to meet an amazing man.
Every single one of them. Even married women or women in a serious relationship would love to meet men who are confident, charismatic and all-around cool.
It makes her feel special and desired. Now, that doesn’t mean she’ll cheat on her lover…
It just means that she WANTS to meet a nice guy like you. So try and remember that.
The reason most guys don’t realize this is because women use 2 major excuses for not wanting to be hit on at the gym:
1) “I’m sweaty, I’m not wearing makeup, and I don’t feel cute.”
Most women say they don’t want to meet guys at the gym because they’re not feeling “cute” enough.
So in her mind, she’s too self-conscious to be open to meeting a new guy. I’ll show you why this is B.S. in just a second, but first, let’s address her second excuse:
2) “Guys at the gym are all creepy.”
Again, most attractive women have been hit on at least once at the gym — and most guys have ZERO idea how to do it. So chances are she had 1 or 2 bad experiences…
And she’s letting that ONE experience ruin your odds…or is she?
The reality is that her excuses are your huge advantage. Here’s why:
If a woman isn’t feeling as cute as she normally does, it’s a good thing. Her personal value is down.
So if she normally feels like a 10, at the gym she may feel and act like an 8. Make sense?
And if she’s the type to think only creepy guys hit on girls at the gym, all you have to do is NOT be creepy. That’s it.
The act of approaching a woman at the gym isn’t creepy…it’s how you approach her that matters.
Now what I’d like to do is inspire you with 2 amazing things you can say to a woman at the gym that will 100% get a great response from her.
I’ve tested these techniques over and over again…and they work almost every time. Here they are:
Option #1: What to Do if She’s Wearing Headphones
For a woman at the gym who’s wearing headphones…
Walk over to her and motion with your hands to get her to take out her headphones. Don’t say ANYTHING while you do this.
When she takes her headphones out, say:
“Hey… Do those things work?” (She might laugh and she’ll say, “Yes why?”)
“Really??? Because every time I’m at the gym all these girls are always trying to pick me up and interrupt my workout. Totally annoying! So, I figured if I got some headphones they’d get the idea that I wanna be left alone. How are they working for you?”
It’s funny, and she’ll immediately get the joke and probably say, “Not that good, obviously!”
I’ll show you exactly what to do next to make her yours in just a second…but first, you’ve gotta see option #2:
Option #2: If You’re Feeling Gutsy…
My next favorite thing to say to a woman at the gym definitely takes some balls, but you know what they say: The bigger the risk, the higher the reward!
Walk up to her and say… “I’m soooooo mad at you!”
She’s definitely gonna ask you why and look really confused…
Then say, “Because I told myself I was gonna come to the gym, enjoy my workout and not talk to anyone. But you are just way too cute! I had to come meet you.”
Next, extend your hand out and introduce yourself.
It's a little direct, and I don't blame you if it's not for you! I'll cover a few more subtle gym approaches in the coming paragraphs.
“How Do I Know If a Girl at the Gym is Interested In Me?”
Believe me, I know how important it is to know if a woman's interested in you or not.
Once you know she's interested, the fear of rejection basically melts away. All you have to do is play “don't f up” game and you'll be all set.
But while a lot of the usual signs she's into you rely on how she's standing, what she's looking at, and how she positions herself…
At the gym, that can be a little bit tougher.
After all, she's moving around, lifting weights, or using cardio equipment.
So the signs that she's into you? They're going to be a little bit different.
Fortunately, my buddy (and fellow Community Expert) Magic made this cool video showing you how to know exactly when she's interested at the gym.
(Doesn't hurt that he had the lovely Mary join him–she's a personal trainer who spends a lot of time in the gym)…
If you don't have time for the video, Magic makes a few key points to takeaway:
- He hooked up with a hot trainer from his gym, but it wasn't the first time he had seen her there. He got to know her a bit over a few visits and hooked up with her that way.
- That said, there are women at the gym who have enough interest in you to give you their number right away.
- The key is properly gauging her level of interest. You can do this by:
- Counting the number of times she makes eye contact with you. 5-7 times is best.
- Making a joke: If she's using really light dumbells, ask her, “Hey, can I use these for a set?” and laugh right afterward. If she laughs back, she's probably interested.
- Gauging how comfortable she feels. Some women just aren't that comfortable at the gym. They don't want to be known as the “kind of girl who likes to get hit on at the gym,” since this might invite interest from less desirable guys.So if she doesn't seem comfortable, just relax and enjoy the conversation. You can either talk to her a few different times to build that comfort, or you can suggest something like “going over to the smoothie bar” to get away from lookie-loos.
Other Helpful Community Resources:
The 7 Hidden Signs She Likes You: While they may have to be modified a bit, some still hold true. Like if there's a room full of empty ellipticals, but she chooses one near you? Probably a sign she's into you…
[Picture Quiz] Does She Like You: This short picture quiz takes 45-60 seconds, and at the end, you'll be able to know if she likes you or not, along with what your exact next steps should be.
Once you think she's comfortable enough, it's time to flirt with her a bit and ask her out.
This is what a lot of guys struggle with… but it really doesn't have to be that tough!
The #1 Time to Start a Conversation With a Cute Girl at The Gym…
While not every time is appropriate to talk to a girl at the gym (like if she's about to walk in the locker room, for example), the absolute best time is during an instructor-led class.
This way, both of you are doing the same thing — taking a class — and, therefore, you have a couple things in common to talk and joke about.
Since both of you are there to get in a good workout, you're going to want to make sure your opening comment is quick…
Easy to hear…
And has a time constraint.
But what exactly do I mean by “time constraint”?
Basically, just remember that no girl is going to have time for a full-on conversation with you during the workout, so you have to keep it simple.
3 Conversation Starters For the Gym to Get the Ball Rolling…
So now that you know why talking to girls at the gym is easy, and when you should do it… let's dive in to the 3 best conversation starters.
Here's the first one:
“This is so much harder than I thought it was going to be!”
Say it with a smile — it lets her know that you're a bit self-conscious. Which is great, because chances are she is too!
It puts both of you on an even playing field and gives her the opportunity to feel more comfortable around you.
Another opener you could try?
“Man, you're really good at this.”
“What did [name of the instructor] say?”
By complimenting her technique, you're taking the emphasis off of her physical attributes, so she won't think you're just checking out her body. And by asking her what the instructor said, you're letting her know that you value her authority and respect her.
While true, these openers won't get a full-fledged conversation going, they do a great job of establishing rapport, and make it even easier for you to talk to her once the class is over.
At the end of the day, whatever you say, make sure it is quick and easy. Remember, it’s just a comment — not a 10-minute conversation.
How to Flirt With Her at the Gym (& Ask Her Out)
Like I mentioned before, a lot of guys resist approaching a girl at the gym for one big reason:
They think they'll be labeled as “creepy.”
And while that's certainly possible… there are a few simple tips you can use to get away from the “creepy” label, and actually improve your chances of getting a date with her quite a lot.
Again, I'll defer to Magic and the lovely Mary:
She has some excellent tips for flirting with women at the gym, including…
- Go to group classes: a lot of women prefer group classes to get away from the grunting-filled free weight areas. Become a “regular,” and you're more likely to see the girls you're interested in more often.
- Wait 2-3 times before talking to her. You don't know if she's dating someone else at the gym (or someone else generally). Mary's seen too many “messy” situations from when a guy hits on a “bro”‘s girl.
- How she tells if a guy is into her. If she's into a guy, she often tries to make eye contact with him. If he looks back confidently, and doesn't break his gaze, she instantly thinks he's into her… and that's a good thing!
- Get her to a “comfortable” space: Start a conversation about “are you using this machine?” Or “can I try those weights?” Even something like, “Hey, I've seen you a lot around here, are you from the area?” Or a more playful, “Are you stalking me?” followed by a laugh could be good openers.
- Why she hooks up with guys from the gym. “Everyone's there to look good and get in shape–we all take care of our bodies. And I've hooked up with guys from the gym because of it.”
- The “Clear Green Light”: If she looks over 10-15 times, Mary says that's a clear green light from her. In fact, she's wondered why some guys won't approach her after she looks at them 10-15 times–she's annoyed that he doesn't approach.
- How to Ask Her Out: “What are you doing after this? Do you want to get some lunch?” or “Do you want to get a smoothie?” Why wait and make it a bigger deal than it needs to be? From there, you can get her number and/or suggest a venue change.
Other Helpful Community Resources:
How To Get ANY Girl Interested In You: This video, also by Magic, will show you how to wordlessly attract women using things like your eyes, your voice, your posture, etc. Basically make her see you as an attractive man from a distance right away.
The Ultimate Guide to Getting Physical With a Woman: If she seems interested in you, then you can use these seemingly “innocent” touches to start turning her on more, right then and there, without anyone noticing. You may even get to a makeout, or even her wanting to go “somewhere more private” within a few short minutes.
These are the kinds of things that will work on almost any woman at the gym.
But what if you have your eye on a hot trainer? Do you have to do things any differently?
After all, a lot of times, these female trainers look great. They're hot, they're in shape… and they're around a lot of guys all day. So they probably get hit on a lot, right?
Probably… but probably not in the way you might think:
How To Flirt With a Hot Fitness Trainer at The Gym
Like I said, a lot of these trainers have heard “everything.”
I put “everything” in quotes for a reason:
They've heard “everything” from run-of-the-mill guys, or guys with no clue what to say.
Even though he's put on a few pounds as of late, I have to defer to Magic on how to engage female trainers in a way that will get them to be more receptive to saying “yes” to going out with you.
If you don't have time for the video, here's a quick cheat sheet:
- If you're into a hot trainer, tell her this: “I want to lose this belly. I want to look like this–” and gesture toward her flat stomach. Most men will not do this, since they think it's somehow “disrespectful.” It's not! She works hard to get the body she has, so it's a good compliment to give her.
- This is different than creepily going up to her and being like, “Oh my god, I love your belly…” That's creepy. It's a totally different energy.
- Instead, it's more, “I like your figure, I admire your figure. I want to be toned like you. I don't need those long legs, but…” (Notice how she genuinely laughs when Magic brings that up!)
- That's how she knows you see her as a man, not just as another human, but as a man. And that's when sexual tension starts to happen…
How To Turn Her On Without Creeping Her Out…
As you probably guessed I love meeting women at the gym.
Their guard is down because they’re not wearing any makeup, or anything too sexy.
(Although it seems like women’s workout clothing gets skimpier every year)
And the two killer lines I showed you above have worked amazingly well for myself and my buddies at the gym.
Now I have to admit… while those lines will get her attention, make her crack a smile, and you might even get a phone number…
What if I were to tell you that you can take it further?
Most guys would assume that girls are ready to go home and hit the showers the moment they’re done working out.
But that’s not always the case…
Because right after a workout, a woman has all these “feel good” hormones coursing through her body…
… and as a result my buddies & I have ended up taking many women out on a date right after the gym.
How you ask?
It’s by using this stealthy touch technique: