The Friends With Benefits Rules That Really Work–Do You Know These Scientifically Proven Steps?
It’s a tale as old as time:
Boy meets girl…
Boy and girl become friends…
They have sex…
And then boy and girl find their friendship falling apart.
This common setup has inspired the plots of hundreds of movies, books, and dating horror stories. It seems that in most instances, the two parties participating in the “friends with benefits” lifestyle can never seem to make it work.
There are always miscommunications and unexpected feelings that show up at the worst times to sabotage the relationship. Which begs the question:
Why has it become so hard for us to keep a casual relationship, well… casual?
One study might just have the answer–and a surprising new solution.
The Study That Revealed Exactly How to Make Friends With Benefits Work…
Here’s the brutally honest truth:
Our society just hasn’t had the right information to know how to make a “friends with benefits,” or “FWB” relationship work.
These types of relationships often leave both parties more stressed and confused than before they ever started.
But why?
A FWB relationship is supposed to be a way to leave the stresses and uncertainty of a committed relationship, and just enjoy each other’s company. So why are we not able to successfully execute it?
What is missing?
How do we transition into being FWB without messing up the original relationship?
One recent study may have just been able to pinpoint why the average FWB relationships aren’t working, and what to change to have a successful FWB experience!
The study found that most of these relationships fail due to the lack of communication.
If both parties are not on the same page, the expectations are blurred, and that is a surefire way to end your FWB situation before it even begins.
It may not come as much of a surprise… however, what’s the solution?
Well, there are a few key changes you can make to your FWB situation to make sure all parties are kept happy and stress-free.
Here’s what they are:
1) Be Willing To Sacrifice
In any type of relationship, sacrifice always plays a big role.
Although you may not be wanting a committed romantic relationship, don’t forget about the “friends” part of “friends with benefits.”
You still have a caring relationship with the person, which means you still have responsibilities to this person other than just in the bedroom.
There is still a level of commitment you are giving each other that you both are obligated to respect. If you want the situation to work out, that is.
Sacrifice might be a new term for your current relationship, so here are some things you can start with:
3 Sacrifices You Should Make in The Bedroom
While you are allowed to be a little selfish, sometimes you’ll have to give up what you really want in order to please the other party.
First of all, be flexible with your time.
Your work schedules may not line up exactly. For example, one of you may need to be up super early while the other can sleep in. So it’s important to make plans accordingly.
In the grand scheme of things, it’s not that big of a deal to make a time adjustment.
Also, don’t assume you’ll be able to make your wildest fantasies happen.
Your partner still gets a say in what she takes part in, so if she doesn’t want to experiment as much as you do, respect her sexual boundaries.
But What About Sacrifices in Your Friendship?
The part that most people forget when they enter into a Friends With Benefits relationship is that they are still friends. That never changes!
You still have a duty to the other person to be the best friend you can be, regardless of whatever is happening sexually.
So what?
So, you still need to make time to hang with each other just as friends.
The study found that the couples who truly stayed friends throughout the process had higher success rates than those who did not.
Carve out time to hang out, get lunch, go hiking… something that has nothing to do with sex.
This way you are still able to build your friendship, and most importantly, have that friendship as a foundation to build your benefits onto.
Ultimately, you care about each other and you need to show it. A one-night stand is the place to be selfish, because that is the least commitment you can get.
FWB, on the other hand, is still a relationship that needs sacrifice and nurture.
As much as people want it to be a robotic thing, FWB is a form of dating, and a form of commitment, no matter how loose each of those terms become.
2) Communicate Your Expectations
This one seems to be the downfall of many FWB situations.
Too often, people in these relationships are on two completely different pages of what they want out of the relationship.
Someone just wants sex, while the other expects lunches and date-type outings in-between doing the dirty.
It could even come down to something as small as one party wants to cuddle while the other just wants to do their thing then get out.
These miscommunications are the last straw that seem to break the FWB camel’s back.
Why?
When you fail to communicate in this type of relationship, where the commitment is loose, feelings get hurt and the foundation starts to break apart.
In a relationship where there really aren’t supposed to be too many romantic feelings, a lack of communication could bring up feelings of jealousy and betrayal.
So before you have sex, make sure you and your partner are completely clear on what you each want out of this arrangement. Talk about what you’re OK with and what needs to stay out of the FWB situation.
You cannot be too clear with this. DIG DEEP! Flesh everything out–even write it down if you have to as a sort of list of “Sex Commandments.”
Just make sure that you are on the same page the entire time. This communication needs to be a constant stream throughout your time together.
Which brings me to my final step…
3) Keep Her Satisfied In Bed
I’m gonna let you in on a little secret…
There’s ONE thing that most girls want way more of in bed… but are often too afraid to ask for:
FOREPLAY!!! < – – How we wish you’d do it.
Seriously, we don’t really care how experienced you are… or if it’s “been a while” since you last got some action…
…but if you don’t spend enough time on foreplay… and get us worked up in juuuust the right places… then the sex usually ends up feeling pretty “blah”… or sometimes even painful. : /
Honestly, most girls are kinda shy about talking about this… which is why we’ll still probably pretend like the sex is great, even if the foreplay isn’t… (I know I’m guilty of doing this)…
So when I saw that our community’s very own Jessica J. made this video, which shows you the kind of foreplay that women absolutely crave… I was so excited!
Finally, we have something that shows every guy how to touch & tease us for maximum pleasure… without ever having to have any “awkward” conversations about it. 🙂
So whether the girl you want is your “FWB” or just a fling… trust me, it’s foreplay like this that will keep her coming back to you for more & more:
The foreplay every girl craves (keeps her coming back for more & more)…
