Keep Things Casual With This Step-By-Step Plan
A common theme amongst men is that they meet a woman and either don’t want anything serious from her, or they don’t want to jump into a relationship too soon and would like to take things slow while still hanging out with other women…
…but have no idea how to make it work.
I would argue that this is mainly due to old social programming. Men have been taught either by their parents, school teachers, female friends, ex-girlfriends, television, movies, etc… that not only do woman “not” want to be just a sexual friend, but also that you should be monogamous with the woman you are sleeping with.
From an early age, we’ve been taught that it’s disrespectful to sleep with multiple women at the same time!
To establish a “friends with benefits” situation goes against almost everything that we have been taught to think about women and relationships.
It’s considered by most to be “outside the norm” and who knows… maybe it is!
But maybe, just maybe, it isn’t?
If you’re at a point in your life where you want to experience multiple sexual relationships at once, then you deserve to have this lifestyle.
If you sleep with a woman and decide that she’s not the type of girl you want to date seriously, but she is the type of girl you would still enjoy having sexual encounters with, then you deserve that as well.
The problem lies in both:
1) The way in which you view these situations, and
2) The lack of applicable knowledge to facilitate this dynamic properly with women.
Why Your Point-of-View is Messed Up…
Let’s start with the way in which you view this situation. First and foremost you need to honor your feelings and be true to yourself.
If you want a particular type of sexual relationship with a woman than you should be able to have it.
Like I said before, you deserve to give this gift to yourself, no matter what contradictions you may experience in your own head, and especially no matter what women and others are telling you.
You are the man, and it is you who defines the relationship. Not the other way around. Know what you want and establish that type of relationship with her from day one.
Most men are ashamed or scared to convey to a woman their desire to be sexually promiscuous, or to tell a woman that they enjoy a her sexually, but not in the context of a real relationship.
Fear is what usually holds men back from having the types of relationships with women that they want.
But what most men fail to realize is that most, if not all women will be ok with what you want, provided that they:
1) value your company, and
2) the way in which you make them feel sexually.
Will women pretend to be ok with the fact that you only want them for a particular type of relationship that doesn’t align with what they are looking for?
Yes and no.
In my experiences, women are typically ok with the category that I put them in. But even if they aren’t, they’ll quickly learn to accept their role in my life despite some token resistance.
You just need to know how to guide them into the relationship that you want. It’s crazy just how easy it is, especially if you’re great in bed.
My Foolproof Playbook to Becoming Friends With Benefits
Here are some quick tips that will help you…
Tip 1: Never be ashamed or scared to convey the type of relationship that you are looking for to a woman.
Does that mean you should tell her on a first date that you’re banging 10 other women and only want a booty call?
Of course not…
If that topic of discussion comes up before you sleep with her (which it RARELY does) simply say to her:
“I’m at a stage in my life where I’ve had a few unsuccessful relationships, and if I’m going to get involved with a woman again I just want to be sure that we’re truly compatible emotionally and physically. Wouldn’t you agree?”
By saying, “wouldn’t you agree?”, you are forcing her to agree with the situation that you want from your perspective. It’s going to be harder for her to fight you on it because she agreed. This works insanely well.
Tip 2: Only see her for a date once a week.
Try to keep it on the same night each week. Do not change the night you guys see each other. This will very subtly give her the impression that you “must” be seeing other women the other nights of the week.
Tip 3: Only text her once or twice a week on the days you are not seeing each other
Silence is your best weapon to create strong desire in a woman and keep her guessing. You’ll also be signaling that she’s not a priority in your life at this point. Of course, she will more than likely become more attracted to you because of this. We all want what we can’t have.
Tip 4: After 2 or 3 dates, start having your dates at your place or hers!
Going out on a date is for couples, not for two people who are sexual partners.
Tip 5: NEVER BE CLEAR ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS TOWARDS HER
Always be somewhat aloof and mysterious about your feelings towards her.
Tip 6: tell her stories about the wonderful and special things you’ve done for ex-girlfriends
This will really get her going crazy. It’ll definitively establish the fact that she’s not one of your girlfriends, while giving her the hope that maybe you will one day act this way towards her. It will position you as a challenge and keep her around for the long haul.
Tip 7: Avoid relationship talks
This can be extremely tricky and stressful for most men. They think that if they don’t answer her questions about the relationship, she’ll leave him or get mad. All fear!
Whenever you want to keep a woman around for purely sexual purposes, you have to keep in mind that you do run the risk of losing her.
No way around that…you have to be fearless about losing her. It’s just part of the deal.
4 Foolproof Ways to Deflect “The Talk”
When a woman asks me for the first time if I’m seeing other people, I’ll say… “Yes, but it’s only like 10 other girls so you really have nothing to worry about”
When she asks again (which she will, but usually at a later date), I’ll say… “Whoa…SLOW DOWN! Are you giving me the relationship talk? That’s so cute. You must really like me”.
When she asks again (and I promise you that she will but usually at a much later date), I’ll say:
“This is like the 20th time you’ve brought this up now. Here’s what I want you to do. Before I answer this question, I want you to take a few more days to really think about the answer you may or may not receive and if you feel like you can handle whatever I may say to you, I’ll answer you honestly.”
This will usually shut her up for good, but there will always be one who needs to know…
With this kind of girl who really enjoys pressing her luck, I’ll say, “Listen… I like you a lot and if you left me I’d probably get depressed and really miss you, but I’m just not ready to commit.”
More than likely she won’t ask if you’re seeing other people, but she may and if she does I’ll say, “Yes, there are a couple of girls who text me to hang out but I really don’t care about them.”
Back to the Tips…
Tip 8: give her the best sex of her life every time you see her
Do you really need an explanation here?
Tip 9: Don’t be scared to define the relationship and don’t be ashamed of your sexual preferences in terms of relationships with women.
If you don’t want a relationship, be proud of that fact. Don’t hide from it.
Trust me, women always have a “few” guys they are sleeping with. If they’re not sleeping with them, they have a few men lined up for sexual encounters.
Why shouldn’t you?