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Today I’m going to show you how to meet and engage with new women when you’re by yourself, and using very little effort.
It all starts with the concept of the “throw-away girl.”
I’ve admonished in the past to love your “throw-away girl.”
For those who don’t remember, “throw-away girl” does not suggest that there are women who are unimportant.
Rather, it attempts to minimize the importance YOU place on the first few women you speak to, when you’re going out to improve your social life.
You see, your state of mind is kind of like the topics of conversation you come up with.
A lot of people seem to think that to “come up with something to say,” you’re digging in your memory banks and plucking thoughts from the air like gossamer.
What really happens, by contrast, is that your conversational pump is primed by topics that are sparked.
This is especially true of conversations that are sparked by encouragement, like things you spoke about that you like, or things the person you’re alking to brought up, or responded to positively.
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Your state of mind is kind of similar.
Everyone thinks they are this kind of person or that kind of person (they especially think that other people are like this or like that)… when in truth their states–and the states of others–are more often a matter of situation or of habit.
Some people are giggly when they’re flirting, or snippy when they’re hungry… or shy when they’re suddenly on the spot.
That’s not so much about their personality–which we see every time we look at them–but about the situation we catch them in.
Your “throw-away girl” is about manipulating the situation to mold your personality.
That’s the beginning of step one of my 3-step method to have a fun night out when flying solo:
1) Talk To Someone As Soon As You Walk Inside (Here’s Why)
The first thing I’d like you to do when you go out alone is talk to someone as soon as you walk in to the place.
It doesn’t need to be a conversation–and it’s probably best if it’s not so committal, but you open your mouth.
I’ve given you simple openers for this already:
“Hey guys, do you know if Carl is working tonight?”
“Do you know what band is playing tonight?”
2) Use This Casual Line to “Practice” a Second Time
Then you open another girl–but don’t take it any more seriously than that first one.
Don’t commit, don’t put all your eggs in that basket. Easy breezy.
“Hi…”
“You’re Sharon’s friend, right?”
You’re trying to convince them that they should talk to you, sure.
That’s hardly the important goal, though.
The truth is, one reason I’m asking you to be so non-commital is so that the woman who is NOT buying what you’re selling doesn’t expend any effort getting rid of you.
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Even if you don’t read people well or you have “no social experience,” you can tell when it’s going really well and you can tell when it’s going really badly.
Part of your goal here (and part of my goal in telling you this if you get my meaning) is to encourage a good feeling social night.
If you are trying hard to stay in (yeah, those two words give you a sense of how it looks) it’s going to feel like a lot of work to you…
… and she’s also going to try to escape, which will feel to you like it’s going really badly.
It Doesn’t End There…
The combination of “this is a lot of work” and “this is going really badly,” may not ruin the night you’re having.
A social, talkative mood may stay–and increase–regardless of negative feelings, based on your personal style and other compensatory encouragements.
People might be talking to you or girls noticing you, for example, and these might compensate entirely for one discouraging interaction.
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The next time you’re about to go out, however, the feelings of “it’s a lot of work” and “it went badly’” might have a good chance of increasing procrastination or lowering your motivation.
By aiming at a really quick interaction, you:
- Increase the chance that it goes well…
- You reduce the effort…
- And you also lower the risk of her trying to escape.
In fact, not trying to stick to her often has the effect of making her try to stick to you.
This encourages going out alone next time.
3) Find The Woman You REALLY Want And Open Her
And… open again.
You might be surprised to find that you feel different this time.
This open will be easier–you won’t need an opener, you’ll probably just say the first thing off the top of your head.
This girl will react better, too.
What may have been a suspicious response the first and even second time will more than likely this time be curiosity or even warmth.
You’ve gotten used, perhaps, to the volume of the venue, or of your voice.
Your smile, maybe, that was plastic at first, is now more real.
Perhaps the people in the place, having watched you open noncommittally twice, trust that you’re not trying to insert yourself, but that you’ll move on in a moment as you did twice before.
As a result, their guard is down, and they just go with the flow, listening to and looking for your actual personality.
Things have changed by this point, however… here’s what I mean:
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Of course, what you think this is about is true:
You are getting experience in this specific place and in places like this in general. And so you are getting better at it and used to it.
You are acclimating yourself to this uncomfortable setting and the discomfort in general, so that it is no longer debilitating.
The people in this specific room–and by extension, because of your adjustments, people like this in rooms like this–are becoming comfortable with you.
Most importantly, you are giving yourself automatic behaviors for similar situations.
By opening as soon as you walk in you are developing an association, in an emotionally charged (you’re scared) situation to trigger not just behavior, but state of mind and emotion.
You are triggering social behavior, and a social–I talk to people–personality as soon as you walk into a venue.
You’re thinking, “Well, David, my behavior’s not going to be very affected by one evening.”
Won’t it? Unless you go out alone a lot–which I suspect you don’t for this to be a desirable experience–this is not a common experience, so you’ll believe what your body tells you is normal behavior here.
Because when you keep doing this physically, it’ll become a habit.
Your body, and body language specifically, is a very powerful thing.
And if you can learn how to read women’s body language it’s even more powerful:
The Only “Conversation Starter” You’ll Ever Need to Get Laid…
Now, I’ll admit this is more of a technique than some kind of “line” or “opener”… though it works far better than anything else I know to get guys laid fast (while avoiding rejection)…
Go for the low-hanging fruit.. (click here to learn how to spot the low hanging fruit ← ).
And by “low hanging fruit” I definitely do NOT mean slutty-looking, unattractive, or overweight girls… (unless that’s your type, then go for it)…
I’m talking about the girls who are most interested in you, and receptive to being approached.
Now, these girls aren’t going to have “DTF ” written on their foreheads… (or at least they’re probably not, girls are crazy nowadays, ya never know)…
And trust me… there will be plenty of women who are interested in talking to you, there always are.
This will not only help you avoid talking to “duds” (hot girls who are “taken,” are just out looking for free drinks, or who are otherwise not in the mood to talk)...
…but it’ll save you a TON of time and effort, and get you laid by a lot hotter girls than you’re probably used to… (since these signs tend to “out” the really hot girls who are secretly super horny, and willing to go home with just about any guy that night):
