How To Get a Girl in Bed With You on the First Date–Even If She Seems Shy Or Hesitant…
So you’ve been on a date with a woman you met online… and things went well.
You asked her to do something else after the “official” part of the date ended, so maybe you’ve been talking…
Or having one last drink.
So what’s your next move?
How do you get her back to your place (or hers)… and into the bedroom together?
The truth is, at this point it’s less about doing everything right… and more about not screwing things up.
So today, I’m going to show you exactly how to do that. It all starts by having two main goals in mind:
Keep her feeling comfortable, and don’t miss your window of opportunity.
How To Make Her Feel Comfortable (And Why This Matters So Much)
If this woman has been on a date with you all night, then chances are she’s feeling pretty comfortable.
So your primary goal should be to keep her at this level of comfort, so she doesn’t feel the urge to leave.
But how should you do that?
The first way to do this is to simply maintain how things have been going on your date… so here are a few ways to do that:
1) Continue Asking Her Questions
Keep asking questions and follow-up questions, and listen closely to what she has to say. Respond appropriately and with empathy.
Respond appropriately and with empathy. (If she said her cat recently died, for example, don’t just ask her if she’s gotten a “replacement” yet.)
At this point, though, no matter how comfortable you’re starting to feel with her, avoid all buzzkill topics:
No politics, religion, or current events… nothing in the least bit controversial.
Well, you don’t want to inadvertently cross a line or trigger a reaction that you can’t recover from.
Also, even though you’re feeling comfortable, avoid any big reveals about yourself. Now is not the time to let her know that you were adopted, or tell her that you have a strange sexual fetish.
That part of the evening is over.
She’s here with you now because of (or in spite of) everything you’ve told her about yourself. Don’t push your luck.
And as long as what you say is pretty “vanilla,” then it’s time to move on to step #2:
2) Use Casual Touches
If you haven’t already, use casual touching as you speak to her.
Touch her hand or her shoulder to let her know you’re interested.
I don’t mean this in a “fatherly” sense–don’t make it obvious that you’re patting her on the back.
Instead, just reach over while you’re talking to her. This will help you get closer to her without freaking her out, or making things seem “weird” for her.
Also, pay attention to what she says and does, and look for an opportunity to increase your physical contact without compromising her comfort level.
If she says she’s cold, put your arm across her shoulders, for example. If you come to a step up or down, offer her your hand but don’t let go first.
Check in when you touch her. “Is this OK?”
And if things do seem to get a little awkward, you can (almost) always recover from this by following step #3:
3) Compliment Her
I know it’s the oldest piece of advice in the book… but man, it still works.
You can even go a little cheesy with these since you’re only just getting to know her:
“Wow, your eyes sure make the moonlight sparkle…” Stuff like that. It really works (trust me).
Another pro tip:
Look for an opening or an invitation to kiss her.
Every woman’s body language is going to be different, but you’ve got to look for the signs. If you’re close, and she’s facing you, and you’re looking into one another’s eyes, that’s a pretty good opening.
If you’re still unsure, hedge your bet and kiss her forehead–not her cheek–and not a peck, but a gentle, slightly lingering kiss.
Her response should give you a clear signal about where to kiss (or not kiss) her next.
At the end of the day, if she’s not ready, she’s not ready.
Let her know you respect and are OK with that. As a result, she’ll respect and feel even more comfortable with you later on.
How To Take Things Somewhere More Private: 4 Phrases That Really Work
Unless there’s a clear opening to get back to someone’s place, making a smooth transition can be difficult.
So, there are a couple approaches you can take, and which one you choose will depend on you & the lady you’re with.
The first, and most abrupt, is a direct ask. “Should we go back to your place?”
Timing is critical for this. A direct suggestion like this is best if it comes after some kissing or more intense physical contact.
Alternatively, you can use a more subtle method or pretext.
She will know what you mean, yes, but will be more comfortable inviting you over for a more innocent reason than getting you into bed. And this is why it’s important to pay attention to what she says to you during the evening–you need the information.
Here are 4 solid examples that have worked for me in the past:
- “I’d love to meet [name of her pet]”…
- “I am dying to see your [collection/travel photos/awesome view]”…
- “It’s cold out, didn’t you say you had a fireplace?”…
- “Do you have any of that [wine/whiskey] you were talking about back at your place?”…
Examples like these show that you were not only paying attention to what she said over the course of the evening, but that you’re also interested in her.
One thing I will say is that you should always suggest going back to her place when you can.
She may say “no,” and then you can suggest yours. But by suggesting that you go back to her place, you’re allowing her to be in charge while offering a space in which she’ll feel more comfortable.
Moreover, it gives you the chance to get out if things seem weird. At the end of the day, it’s always better to leave yourself an out than to get stuck having someone you misread at your house all night.
Going Back to Your Place? Here’s How to Prepare for Maximum Sexual Success…
If you do end up going back to your place… there are some ways you can prepare for it.
First, take some time to tidy up before the date.
Make your bed, clean your bathroom, and have something to offer her to drink. Obviously, you should also have some condoms in your nightstand.
And don’t let the post-date, pre-home activities last too long. You can’t let her get too tired or worn out on conversation or walking.
Remember, this is a transitional period between the formal date and what happens next. Treat it as such.
If you wait too long, she may be too tired or may start questioning how interested you are in her. And if she starts to feel like she’s working too hard to get you interested, she may start to cool off herself.
So when you get back to your place (or hers)… how do you make sure things end up in the bedroom?
Just keep on reading, and I’ll show you :-):
The “Secret” to Getting Her Naked, On Top Of You & Screaming Your Name In Bed…
I personally used to believe one thing that annihilated my chances with almost every woman who came back to my place:
So I tried everything:
- “It’s getting late… you could sleep an extra hour or 2 if you sleep over…”
- “Wanna sleep over? It’s getting cold, and I have plenty of warm blankets…”
- “I don’t want you risking a cab or Uber at this hour… wouldn’t it make more sense to wait for daylight?”
And even though those worked on one, maybe two occasions… most of the time, she was off of my couch and out the door in less than 10 minutes. An entire night’s effort… gone.
Later I discovered one fact that completely changed my results with women:
If you want a woman to sleep with you, you DO NOT need to convince her… you just need to turn her on.
That way, she really feels that desire to go to bed with you.
And the quickest way to do that?
There are 3 under-the-radar touches in particular, that get most women dripping wet in a matter of minutes…