Everything A Man Needs to Message Women–Do You Know the Unexpected Advantages of Text?
Gone are the days of home phones and answering machines and relying on in-person contact to build relationships.
Texting is half the battle these days, and knowing how to text girls can allow you to sail through the dating world with ease.
If you don’t yet know how to text a girl the right way, don’t worry- I don’t intend to send you out into the fiery siege without all the ninja skills you’ll need.
(And if you want a quick shortcut of what women really want, you're gonna want to check out this checklist.)
When you know how to pull the strings in a texting conversation with a woman, you’ll feel more confident in all your interactions with them.
You’ll know how to first get her number…
Easily open up the conversation…
Flirt in a way that will guarantee a response…
And seal the deal every. time.
If you don’t know how to text a girl, or how to get a girl to text you back, it can seem intimidating.
You technically have endless time to write a text, so you may feel pressure to say the exact right thing.
But it doesn’t have to be stressful! In fact, there are many reasons why texting a girl is actually better than calling her.
So many guys–especially older guys–still insist that talking on the phone is better than texting.
However, in most cases, the opposite is true!
What Are the 5 Advantages Of Texting?
If you aren’t really “into” texting…
Or you still believe that calling girls is the “decent” thing to do…
Then I’d like the opportunity to change your mind.
Because with the right texting skills, you can get way more dates–and faster sex–than you can over the phone.
And here’s why:
There is no question that texts are convenient. And often, they’re more convenient than a phone call.
Instead of stopping what you’re doing to engage a woman in a two-sided conversation, texts allow you to say what you want–or read a response–without committing to a full-on conversation with her.
For example, she might text you:
“What time are you coming?”
Then, instead of having a long, drawn-out conversation on the phone about what time is best… you can simply reply:
Sometimes, there is nothing better than the perfectly economic communication of “yes” or “no.”
And that’s just the tip of the texting iceberg.
2) It Limits The “Back & Forth”
If you aren’t really “into” texting, this might seem like a disadvantage. Maybe you like the “back and forth” of a phone conversation.
But think about this for a second:
If you’ve stopped what you’re doing to have a 20-minute conversation about when you’re going to go somewhere–when it’s something that can be accomplished in two minutes (or less) over text–then you’ve just wasted a lot of time.
Does this make sense?
Imagine you’re in the middle of a meeting at work.
Is figuring out how you’re going to get together with a woman important enough to step out of your meeting and call her to talk about it?
Probably not, right?
Texting a girl allows you to slice through the “chit-chat.”
If you have these kinds of conversations over text, then you can condense a 20-minute conversation down to two minutes.
And ultimately, this benefits you in the long run. Not only will this woman see you as easy to talk to, but she’ll also see you as the kind of man who takes charge.
And for most women, that’s a huge turn-on.
3) It’s More Controlled
Depending on what you want to control, knowing how to text a girl can give you that power.
Like I mentioned above, texting a girl can control the timing of your conversations.
On top of that, if you want to control the quality of your conversation…
How much you say…
Or how much you reveal about yourself…
Then texting a girl gives you the kind of control that phone conversations simply cannot offer.
4) You Can Send Higher Quality Messages
What’s great about texting is that you can research, review, and rewrite what you send her.
That way, you only send exactly the message you want–and you don’t have to think on your feet too much.
However, it’s important to mention one thing about this:
You don’t want to overuse this kind of power.
Because the truth is, knowing how to text girls the right way is about more than what you say… it’s about presenting yourself the best way, and timing is a part of that.
In fact, you get “bonus points” for responding quickly to women over text. That’s because when you do this, your texts will seem more unscripted & honest.
So if you respond too slowly, she may be able to tell that you’re taking too much time to think about your response.
Yes, take the time to craft a cool & witty response–but don’t take too much time.
5) It’s Less Effort (Most Of The Time)
If you want to start understanding how to text girls, keep in mind this primary rule:
Make sure your text responses are the same length as what she texts you. In fact, a bit shorter is often better!
When in doubt, cut it out. And for this reason, texting a girl is often less effort than calling her.
You may have noticed that these longer texts tend to show up when a person is “qualifying.”
So when a guy thinks he’s losing a woman, he may feel the need to explain himself over a series of extremely long texts.
Women pick up on this, and it’s not a good thing.
Even if you’re afraid of being misunderstood over text, there are ways around this.
And most of these ways boil down to one simple tip:
After you write what you want to send, delete as much as you can.
This is because shorter texts allow you to hide your anxiety…
Whatever. You can show the side of you that you want over text.
And that’s the beauty of it!
Finally, when you’re ready to ask a girl out over text, how should it be done?
How To Start A Text Conversation With A Girl That Leads To A First Date
Texting a girl can sometimes feel like a game of Russian roulette, and that first text is the most intimidating part.
You’re thinking to yourself:
- Will she text me back?
- What do I do if she ignores me?
And like I said before, you might agonize over that first text, trying to make it the perfect combination of cool, witty, not too eager, etc..
So let’s begin by answering this question:
“What’s the best first text to send, and how should you escalate from there?”
Should you say something funny…
Maybe just send a basic greeting…
The options are endless, so let me narrow them down for you.
The best first text to send isn’t the first text at all– it’s the second text.
I know– I just blew your mind.
You want her to send the first text. The first thing you say to her should be a response to what she says.
Answering her is less pressure– you already know she’s into you, all you have to do is express interest back.
But in order for her to text you, you’re gonna need to pass her your number at some point…
Make Sure She ALWAYS Gets Your Number
When you meet a girl somewhere, you can control the conversation so that she ends up walking away with your number, guaranteed.
Let’s try an example.
You meet a woman at a bar. The conversation leads to her drink, and you say you know another place that makes a great spin on it. She’ll probably say something like this:
Her: Oh, really? I’ll have to go try it sometime.
And then you say:
You: Yeah, you should definitely come with me next time I go. Anyway listen, I gotta run– but let me give you my number, shoot me a text.
Even though this is a semi-specific situation, you can make this happen in almost any conversation you have with a woman– all you have to do is find a way to start talking about a place.
And that place will be the suggestion you end up making.
Her phone is likely to be nearby, and as long as you say it as a statement and not a question, she will most likely instantly pass over her phone.
Because there is no obligation for her.
Even if she isn’t into you, you’re leaving. She could just delete the number as soon as you walk away if she really wants to, and odds are she won’t.
And then you leave. And now she has your number. Simple as that.
When the first text you send to her is in response to her text, the pressure is already off. You know she’s into you.
(Also here are some quick tips to boost your attraction to make getting her number even easier.)
What If You Get Her Number Instead?
So let’s say your meeting goes a bit differently, and you end up with her number instead.
First of all, congrats! Getting a woman’s phone number is a big accomplishment. I won’t deny that.
These days, going from “getting her #” to “getting her out on a date”… can feel nearly impossible.
Not only do girls play all sorts of texting “games”–but more and more girls decide to flake out and “ghost” for seemingly no reason.
I’m sick and tired of this happening!
So now I want to show you how to avoid it, and how to text a girl so that you give yourself the best odds of getting her out on a date.
First, let’s focus on making sure she answers you.
Step-by-Step Guide: How To Get a Girl to Text Back
So you texted her… but she hasn’t responded yet.
We’ve all been there, and I know how frustrating a dead air response can be. It f’in sucks, man.
But what if there was a way to text a girl that nearly guarantees a response?
So let’s answer that question:
“What are the best texts to send a girl to make sure she texts you back?”
Well, before I talk about that, I need to tell you something first:
The only way you’re ever going to get a response from a woman via text message is if she’s already interested in you.
If she’s not interested, chances are you will not get a response.
Honestly, it doesn’t matter how flirty…
Or whatever — it doesn’t matter if you’ve written the book on how to text a girl. If she’s not interested, your chances of getting a response go way down.
Opening Up The Conversation
Now, is there the perfect text message you can send to a woman?
The truth is, no, there isn’t.
But there is a way to get a response.
Sometimes, I just send the word, “Hello”…
Or, “Hey, what’s going on?”…
Or, “Hey, how are you?”…
If she’s interested in you, you don’t need anything too fancy.
Could you be playful and imaginative? Absolutely. And should you be? Yes–but remember, you don’t need anything too fancy.
What I like to do is this:
Remind Her of the Man She Met (In Person)
Once I have the phone number and start texting a girl, I like to reinitiate our conversation. I like to remind her of the person she met.
What I mean by “remind her of the person she met” is that maybe we had some sort of commonality when we met.
Maybe we’re both vegetarian…
We do yoga…
Or we enjoy the same sports team…
Whatever. I like to remind her of something we shared in common from our first conversation.
Basically, I try to text her to get her into a better state of mind than the one she’s probably currently in.
Here’s the thing though:
I’m not looking for a “text friend” or a pen pal.
I want to know–are you into me, or not?
So here’s what I do next:
Ask Her Out Using This 6-Word Phrase…
After about 3-5 of these texts back and forth, I like to go ahead and ask her out.
“Hey, what’s your week looking like?”
I don’t need to say anymore.
You don’t want to say things like,
“Oh, we should go out and grab a bottle of wine…”
“Would you like to grab a cup of coffee sometime?”
Don’t do that–it gives her too much opportunity to object.
Instead, “What’s your week looking like?” is always your best bet. I’ll explain why in a second.
How To Tell if She’s Interested…
The reason this question is the best way to ask her out is that, most of the time, she’ll respond:
“Oh, I’m kind of free Wednesday or Thursday.”
And if she’s not free, she’ll say something like, “Oh, this week’s really bad.”
If she says that, then I say something like, “OK, well get back to me when you know your schedule.”
And then I’ll just leave the conversation alone.
Because essentially, I just asked her out. She knows this. The ball is in her court.
If you are still having trouble gauging her level of interest after sending this text, check out our 7 step checklist to find out exactly how interested she really is.
What NOT to Do If She Doesn’t Respond…
A lot of guys think that when a girl doesn’t respond to a text, it’s because she’s distracted.
This might be true… however, remember– even if you know how to get a girl to text you back, there is still one thing that could negate it all:
She just might not be interested.
So if that’s the case, don’t keep texting her.
Some guys will continuously text a girl until she responds…
Saying things like, “I paid for dinner, the least you can do is text me back”…
And eventually, they’ll call her.
This is what NOT to do. Because this is what qualifies as harassment.
Women don’t want to deal with that crap. So what does she want?
So if she keeps saying she’s “busy”… or if she’s taking too long to respond to your messages… then there is one last thing you can try to get her out with you…
And it works a little something like this:
She’s Taking Too Long to Respond or Says She’s “Busy”? 5 Last Chance Messages to Force Instant, Honest Replies
When a woman is “playing coy” with me over text… or taking hours to respond to the simplest questions… I won’t sit around and twiddle my thumbs waiting. F that.
Instead, I’ll send one of these 5 messages that tend to get an almost-immediate, truthful response.
Depending on your personality, one of these might work better than others (I usually get the best results with #4)… so just click the one you wanna know more about below: