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It may sound cliche, but with age comes wisdom–the wisdom to understand what went right or wrong in particular situations, like relationships.
Remember when you were in high school and navigating through the excitement (and awkwardness) of your first relationship or sexual experience?
Have you ever looked back on earlier relationships and thought, “If I had only known this then…”?
No matter where you are in your life–single, committed, married, or newly together–it always helps to know what people who have been together for decades wish they knew a lot sooner.
Business Insider recently gathered the best tips from experienced married couples–and using the help of our in-house experts, we’ve chosen the best ones and laid out how you can use these tips to have the kind of relationship you want, on your terms.
So let’s get started!
1) Be Honest About Your Emotions
From time to time, chances are you’re going to feel negative or confusing emotions.
And if you’re in a committed relationship with a woman, she’s likely going to pick up on this when it happens.
You may think you’re doing her a favor by not telling her about something trivial that upset you–but trust me, you’re not.
Letting negative emotions fester can cause serious problems down the line.
We’re not saying to nitpick your partner, of course… but being honest about feeling anxious, depressed, or even apathetic because of work (or family, or having too much on your plate) will help you both tackle these problems together.
Keeping your partner out of the loop–even if the negative emotions have nothing to do with her–is a surefire way to implode a relationship.
This tip will help you two learn to communicate better and work through difficult situations like seasoned pros.
2) Don’t Let Anger Fester
You’ve probably heard the phrase, “never go to bed angry.”
While this specific advice isn’t always the best answer, letting anger fester for too long is never a great solution.
Learning how to fight “right” is important for all couples. You’re going to disagree, probably often, and figuring out how to navigate these differences in opinion is crucial for a healthy relationship.
First, many older couples advise not to take everything personally.
When you’re upset with your partner, try to view the situation as an “outsider.” If a random stranger were to watch the two of you fight, what would they think?
It can also help to allow her to speak before offering your own side–that way, she knows you’re listening to her, and she’ll listen to you too.
Finally, if you’re the type of guy who gets fired up easily and needs to cool down… then yes, you probably should go to bed angry.
Just be sure to tell your partner, “I need to cool down. Can we pick this up tomorrow after work?”
Communicating how you feel shows her that you are taking her concerns seriously, but also lets her know that it’s best for everyone if you hit pause and take some time to wind down and think.
3) Compromise & Be Patient
No one likes not getting their way. If you always got your way, your partner would be miserable–and vice versa.
When it comes to little things (taking out the trash, going out to dinner with your partner’s friends, or picking a TV show), figure out how important they are overall.
If you need the TV to watch football every Sunday, can she use it to watch The Bachelor every week? Is it really worth arguing over?
When you compromise, your partner is also more likely to notice and do things you want to do–without you even asking.
The bottom line:
Pick your battles and compromise on the little things.
4) The “Kind” Factor
Before you invest in a woman, make sure she is kind enough to be worth investing in.
This doesn’t mean you need to find a woman who donates to 10 charities and gives away all of her spare time and money.
Instead, look for someone who is noticeably kind and attentive.
Is she nice to waitstaff?
Does she thank you when you’ve done something nice?
Does she apologize when she’s in the wrong?
These behaviors may seem trivial, but if kindness and fairness are important to you, you’ll want to find a woman who also appreciates these behaviors.
5) Respect Her Opinions
Today, it’s much more common for people of different religious backgrounds to marry than ever before.
Just because you have different beliefs, values, or opinions than your partner, doesn’t mean you can’t have a healthy relationship.
Respecting her opinion isn’t about agreeing with her, either–it’s about understanding that she is an individual, just like you, with her own unique perceptions.
If something she believes is important to her–her religion, political party, or a hobby–don’t step on her passion because you have contradicting views.
Instead, what will keep her by your side is your support.
Support her passions–and even attend important events or help her out–to show her that while you may not agree with her, you love her and want her to be happy.
TRENDING: 3 Secret “Touch Tricks” That Get Hot Girls Soaking Wet, Naked & “Addicted” to You In Bed!
6) Spend “Real Time” Together
Netflix and chill is great… but is it really quality time?
According to lots of older, married couples, one of the best keys to a successful relationship is to find ways to enjoy each other’s company–even when life gets hectic.
Maybe you could schedule lunches with her during the week (even if by the time you meet, you only have 10 minutes to really hang out).
Check in with her at least once a day to see how everything is going and to lend emotional support.
Or perhaps you could plan creative date nights–and you don’t have to go out either. You could cook together, plan a wine (or beer) tasting at home, or have a competitive game night once a week.
If all else fails and your interests are too different, invest in some good headphones and read while your partner watches her favorite musical or movie. Just be sure to give it a try before blocking it out.
7) Build On Things You Have In Common
If you like sports, beer, and camping… but she likes musicals, reading, and shopping… on paper, it probably looks like you’re total opposites.
But you’re not!
Remember, you fell for each other at one point, and there was a reason for that.
What types of things did you do when you first got together, that you maybe don’t do so much anymore?
Don’t forget to include those things in your everyday relationship.
At the end of the day, it’s important to celebrate the things you have in common. It will strengthen your bond and bring you closer together.
8) Emphasize Family Time (Even If You Don’t Have Kids!)
Study after study has shown that valuing the time you spend with your partner as a “unit” can help your relationship grow and thrive.
This means that you should do things together whenever possible.
One easy way to implement this is by always eating meals together–bonus points if you ditch technology and eat at the table while you discuss your day.
I know it might seem “small” or even trivial, but it will make a big difference to her (and hopefully for you too).
These moments can also help to remind you what made you fall in love with her in the first place… and this can make your sex life a lot better too (but more on that in a second). 😉
9) Accept Her Imperfections
If you’ve been with a woman for long enough, chances are she does a few things that drive you crazy. And not always in a good way.
Instead of getting frustrated with these small slip-ups, why not find a way to make them work for you?
If she always throws her coat onto the couch instead of hanging it up, for example, why not hang it up for her?
Chances are, there are things she’s doing for you too that you may not realize.
Of course, if something bothers you that much, you should tell her. If it’s that big of a deal, then she should be able to be flexible.
But if you ask her to do that for you, then odds are she’s going to ask you to be just as flexible too.
Once you can find a way to excuse some of her smaller imperfections, you may find that you feel a lot closer to her… and that she appreciates you a LOT more too.
Not just outside of the bedroom, but in bed as well.
Here’s what I mean:
10) The Easiest Way to Keep Her Loyal to You & ONLY You
A very controversial book published in 2017, reveals why so many women cheat on their husbands and boyfriends…
And the reality is that 96% of women who cheat, cheat for one BIG reason…
It’s because they are unsatisfied sexually, and need that sexual release.
So they look for it elsewhere… in places you might not expect.
As a matter of fact, many women who cheat don’t look on Tinder or make an online dating profile…
Instead, they visit hired professionals who can give them a “Happy Ending” after a long, relaxing massage.
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The good news is, pleasing a woman in bed isn’t rocket science…
And you can please a woman as effectively as one of these “Happy Ending Masseurs.”
And no… you don’t need a huge dong to satisfy her sexually, and keep her loyal to you for as long as you want.
All you need is an enthusiastic attitude and a set of hands…
… and you can make any woman come like a geyser, and keep her “addicted” to you for years to come:
