How To Make a Long Distance Relationship Work–No Matter How Far Away She Is Right Now…
When you’re in a long-distance relationship, it can feel like everyone has an opinion on what you’re doing.
Some might say long-distance relationships flat-out can’t work and wonder why you’re going to the trouble.
When it’s with the right person, though, it absolutely can work, and it can be worth it.
So how do you wade through the B.S. advice out there for people in long-distance relationships?
Well, you listen to people who have made it work–like Tayi Sanusi, who dated a man from Berlin while living in the United States.
Here are her proven tips for having a successful long-distance relationship–even if you're dating a woman who's halfway across the world:
1) Pay Attention To THIS
Time differences can make your relationships easier OR harder, so pay attention to them.
For Tayi, the time difference between the two of them was a challenge, and after she missed a couple of Skype dates, she “realized that if this was going to work, we had to schedule times to talk with each other and stick to them.”
This takes some coordinating, with busy work schedules and general life stuff, but find times that work for the two of you, and stick to those times no matter what.
Whether you and your girl do the Skype thing or prefer to chat on the phone, make spending time together a priority.
You might need to stay up later or get up a little earlier, but that time together helps keep the two of you close.
That sense of closeness is vital when there’s physical distance between you. When you talk regularly, you know what’s going on and can feel like a part of each other’s lives.
Inbetween phone or Skype calls, text each other to stay in touch. Even a simple “good morning” or “good night” message lets your partner know she’s in your thoughts.
2) Doubts Are Not Necessarily Bad
When your partner is right there, you’re reminded daily of what brought the two of you together.
If she isn’t where you are, though, it’s easy for doubts to creep in, and that’s totally normal.
Tayi suggests not letting those doubts linger, though, and used a 3-step process for dealing with her emotions:
3) And reach out.
Stop means stopping yourself when you feel like you’re going into a negative spiral.
Think through what you’re feeling. Is it because of something you or your partner said or did? If it is, then reach out and discuss the issue with your partner.
If it’s not, then remind yourself that these feelings are normal, and they will pass. If you feel yourself dwelling on the negative, refocus on the positive things about your relationship.
Think about how much you enjoy talking to your partner, and how your life is better with her in it. Think about how amazing it will be when the two of you are back together in real life.
This will help silence the doubts, and keep the two of you close together.
3) The Power Of Trust
Every successful relationship requires trust.
As Tayi points out, though, “trust is something that's earned over time,” and that’s a bit more challenging when you’re in a long-distance relationship.
For Tayi, communication is key. If there’s something that’s bothering you or making it difficult to trust your partner, let her know.
Since you’re not face-to-face, talking things out is essential. If you have concerns, tell her.
Chances are, she might have some of the same concerns you do, and you can work them out together.
Set clear expectations with your partner about your relationship. Are the two of you exclusive, or are you open to seeing other people, for example?
Decide what’s going to work best for the two of you, and then stick to the guidelines you set.
Knowing exactly where you stand with each other builds trust and helps keep your relationship working, even when you’re miles apart.
4) Success Is Possible (If You Work For It)
After a year and a half of long-distance love, Tayi took the leap and moved to Berlin to be with her partner.
That long-distance time was far from easy for her, she says. According to Tayi, “Chances are you're going to be lonely… and you're probably going to get in a few fights.”
But if you follow these steps, then it can all be worth it in the end.
You can get over any difficulties you have by regularly communicating with your partner and having a plan for when you're going to reunite.
Remember what brought you together in the first place.
Whether it’s just for a long weekend or permanent relocation, Tayi recommends having a plan to get back together.
With all the challenges that being in a long-distance relationship presents, it’s important to know when you’re going to see each other in person again.
And in fact, there are some things you can do to get her to come see you in person a lot sooner than you may think.
Here's what I mean:
5) Keep Her Fantasizing About You…
It’s no secret, there has to be a sexual bond if you want to keep your relationship going strong.
This gets particularly hard when you’re in a long-distance relationship.
Because if you can’t get her turned on, fantasizing about you, and touching herself to the thought of you being inside her…
… then at some point, she’s going to go elsewhere to get that sexual satisfaction.
But you don't need need to worry…
Luckily for men, women have powerful imaginations… and satisfying her sexual needs while you’re not around is as easy as sending the right text messages.
No matter where you are in the world, if you know the right messages to send…
… you can turn the conversation sexual, which will lead to talking dirty, and which will make her wet.
In fact you can do this in as little as 2-3 short messages.
Once you send these messages, she'll eagerly excuse herself from the dinner table… sneak off to the bathroom… and send you a quick video to show you how turned on you've made her. 😉
(I’m speaking from personal experience haha)
Hell she might get so turned on that she’ll drop by for a surprise visit!