Many guys I meet are interested in improving their sex lives… particularly, how to get women interested in sex more often.
However, in my years of experience, I've discovered that one of the first steps to becoming better in bed is this:
Learn what not to do first. So that's what I want to show you today.
Hi, I'm Lawrence Lanoff.
As a tantric sex expert, it's safe to say I know a lot about sex and improving your sex life. So every week, I'll be answering your most difficult, burning questions you have about sex…
And this week, I'm answering this one:
“What are the most common mistakes men make during sex, and how can I avoid them?”
Catch The Full Video Transcript Below…
So, what are the 3 biggest mistakes that guys are making during sex?
I'll show you–but first, let me just say this:
If you pay attention right now…
And really listen to what I'm saying…
If you can make even the tiniest change in what you do in bed…
Then I promise, it will make a huge difference in your sex life.
So with that in mind, here are the 3 biggest sex mistakes most guys are making right now:
1) Going Too Fast
The absolute number one thing guys are doing wrong is going too fast.
The problem with fast sex is that you're missing the details. I don't know how to describe it exactly, but it would be the equivalent of taking Pink Floyd's Dark Side of The Moon album and listening to it at high speed.
(You will not and should not get through this album in 30 seconds. Sex is like that.)
If you've ever listened to that album, it makes sense that the slower you play it…
…the more you digest it.
I feel like it should be the same thing during sex!
It's really that simple.
Going way too fast is the number one thing that men are doing wrong. They are just pounding away, trying to get off.
Which brings me to the next biggest mistake guys make…
2) Focusing Too Much on Your Own Orgasm
The second big sex mistake is that men focus only on the orgasm for themselves. This is a huge mistake.
Trust me–sex is not an itch that you just have to scratch.
When I'm hungry, I don't just go to a nice restaurant and stuff the food in my mouth… that's the big issue.
It's like we're trying to get to this orgasmic feeling too fast, and there's no time to savor the experience.
One of the things I say to men to correct this is to stop and think if you are spending a lot of your life simply wanting sex.
When you finally get to the place where you can have sex, you should savor what it is, because you're finally there.
So why rush through the moment that you have possibly waited a long time for?
Don't suddenly just become a wild animal, because before you know it… it's over!
Which leads me to the last thing:
3) Rushing Her Orgasm
The last huge mistake is that men focus too much on the woman having an orgasm.
For a lot of men, their main goal (or thought process) is this:
I need to get her off. She needs to squirt or have some big explosion!
That may give you a sense of power, yes, but it comes at a cost.
If you don't have a technique and you're going too fast, you'll be too focused on your orgasm… and that means she won't get to have one.
You may want to hear her come, or make a lot of noise, but you would be shocked by how many women fake orgasms because they aren't enjoying the sex.
The reason women do this is because they find it's not even worth their time to express just how wrong you're doing it!
Plus, many men don't know how to have deep communication about sex in the first place.
So keep in mind that, for her, she may not have much of a way to tell you to slow down. So don't put her in that situation.
Here’s How to Change Your Sex Life Forever…
With all of these mistakes, it can be a bit of a cascade effect.
Going too fast…
Focusing on yourself…
Trying to get her to explode…
It's a recipe for disaster.
So what does that mean?
Well, number one–slow down. Slow it down two, three, four, or five times more than what you think of as “too slow.” Trust me.
It takes the female body a lot of time to orgasm.
So create an environment that is ripe for quality sex with quality foreplay.
It will take time, and that's OK.
It Doesn't End There…
Now that you've started to slow it down…
You can ask her questions like:
- What do you like?
- What are you into?
- What would feel good for you?
- Do you like this thing?
- How's the pressure?
- Does it feel good?
Engage in communication during sex.
Train yourself to expand that time.
It turns out that the average male ejaculates between two and three minutes, and the average female–it's going to take her 15 to 20 minutes to simply warm up!
That means 90% of us are going to orgasm within 10 minutes, and she's just ramping up.
There's a disconnect there.
So, I cannot say it enough–just slow the whole process down.
So, You Know The Mistakes–Are You a Pro Yet?
Well now you know slowing it down is your main goal first.
Next, take the emphasis off your orgasm, then don’t only focus on hers.
If a woman feels like you're trying and you keep trying, and you're not going to relent until she comes, she's just going to get stressed out.
Eventually, she'll just fake it just to get it over with.
These things always lead me back to why you should learn tantra, and learn other ways of relating to her during sex.
The more options you have as a lover, the more sexual fulfillment you'll bring to yourself and your partner.
So, that is where you start before you move on to more complicated sex techniques.
3 Kinds Of Orgasms That Will Keep Her Coming Back
Did you know that most women are capable of having 3 different types of orgasms?
One of them, in particular, seems to be a fan favorite amongst our community members.
Check out what one active community member, Dominic, had to say about it:
Hey ya’ll, the other night I tried doing the deep spot thing, and it worked really really well! Her whole body was trembling, like she was having a freakin' seizure, it was awesome. I’m definitely doing that again.”
That “seizure” like trembling he mentioned… well, that occurs when a woman experiences what I call a “full body orgasm”… and the easiest way to achieve that “full body orgasm” is, like Dominic said… to try my Deep Spot technique.
Most women aren’t used to feeling this kind of pleasure that the technique induces… and as a result, she can't help but tremble & completely lose control.
So when you can make a woman feel that good, you can be pretty damn sure she’ll come back for more. Trust me. 😉