Professional Dating Coach Reveals How to Figure Out the TRUTH: Is She Using You?
Hey, let’s talk about the “friend zone.”
If there’s anything I can think of that almost every guy has experienced, it’s what is popularly known as “the friend zone.”
The friend zone refers to that relationship space where you don’t seem to be a candidate for “benefits,” despite the apparent attraction or connection that makes you “friends.”
Basically, the friend zone for men boils down to a relationship without sex.
The problem with this, of course, is that you’re invested in this relationship as though she were your girlfriend–but you’re not getting the most important “girlfriend behavior” back (sex).
So basically, you’re being used. You’re paying the prices of a relationship without getting the rewards.
Today, I’m going to show you how to know if you’re being used like this, and what you can do to make sex more likely.
There are 5 key signs that reveal if you’re in the “friend zone.” Let’s begin with sign #1:
1) She “Goes For Hours” With You
You know you’re in the friend zone when “going for hours” refers to a phone call about her ex-boyfriend.
A relationship takes up time, and for a guy–who usually has hobbies and pastimes and interests–time is usually at a premium.
Maybe this guy is into sports, or cars or comic books or music. His default is to spend time following his obsessions, entertaining his passions, reading about and practicing what he loves.
In a relationship, though he has to curtail his hobby time.
Instead of reading about Kung Fu or turntables, he’s on the phone or driving his lady friend across town to her chiropractor.
While giving up your Saturday on the Harley for IKEA is completely normal, it is not a sacrifice you should be making for a platonic relationship.
2) You “Go Down” Together
You know you’re in the friend zone when “going down” means getting underneath her desk to fix her computer.
A big difference between the masculine and feminine comes in the form of skill.
Guys like to do things. Your male buddies will hardly ask you to do things for them, because they–like you–are either interested in or feel capable of “doing it themselves.”
Your female friends, on the other hand, don’t judge themselves on their abilities with things. A guy who can’t fix his stove will feel useless if he has to ask for help from a friend. He’ll either hire it done, do it himself or do without it.
A woman, by contrast, doesn’t have her self-esteem wrapped in things like being able to get the TV working.
Fixing and building and fetching are some of the main characteristics of boyfriend behavior.
This is the stuff on your “Honey-Do” list. There is no “Honey-Do” list for girlfriends. (Well, there’s a very short one, with only one thing on it.)
The friend zone includes lots of doing these things for her–which, if you’re honest, you probably enjoy. If you are not getting girlfriend behavior out of it, however, then it means she’s using you.
3) She Tells You, “It’s So Big!”
You know you’re in the friend zone when her, “It’s so big!” refers to a cockroach you’re expected to kill.
Women are more than capable of killing their own bugs, opening their own bottles, Alt-Control-Deleting their own laptops, hanging their own pictures and unclogging their own pipes.
You and I both know that if they have no other choice–and sometimes even when they do–they’ll take care of all those things on their own.
We like being asked to do it, though, and we like playing the role of Manly Man. It makes us feel masculine, and it makes her feel feminine when she plays the damsel in distress role, too.
Remember Charlize Theron in Hancock asking Jason Bateman to open a jar for her?
In the same way that children’s and baby animal’s size and eyes trigger a protective instinct, women’s relative size and pretense of helplessness arouse a complicit pretense of heroism from us.
But if, after you act like a hero for her, she doesn’t reward you with a kiss or some kind of affection–then it’s no longer worth your trouble. She’s using you.
4) The “Give It To Me” Sign
You know you’re in the friend zone when “give it to me” refers to you asking for the bill.
Paying the bill is boyfriend behavior–point blank.
In fact, the fastest way to recognize the friend zone is when you guys go out. Who pays?
Women have fought for equality, and I assure you, if she’s trying to start a romantic relationship with you, she’s not against taking her turn with the bill.
If you are always paying, you’d better be a boyfriend.
Don’t misunderstand this, though. Paying the bill is not the sign you are in the friend zone.
Paying the bill is (archaically) key boyfriend behavior. If you are giving key boyfriend behavior but not getting key girlfriend behavior, then you are in the friend zone.
That’s the distinction.
5) She Acts “Like A Good Girl”
You know you’re in the friend zone when “like a good girl” refers to her G-rated behavior around you.
Even when she gives you a lot of other typical girlfriend behavior–like expecting you to pay…
Calling in the middle of the night…
Making you a sandwich…
Getting you a beer while you’re watching the game…
Even if she does all of these things for you, if there’s no sex, then you are being used in some way or another.
She’s your friend, and no more.
But does that mean you can’t change that?
Not necessarily. Here’s what I mean:
Do THIS to Make Sex More Likely (Very Counterintuitive)…
In my experience as a dating coach, when a guy finds out a girl is using him… his gut reaction is to be a little bit hurt.
Don’t worry–that’s completely natural.
And if you still want to sleep with her, there’s a simple way to:
1) Stop her from “using” you going forward, and…
2) Make sex more likely…
And it’s this:
It’s a short, free video that shows you 3 counterintuitive “mental tricks” that can cause a girl to pursue you romantically… even if she previously said she only wants to be friends.
What’s great is that these tricks work in all kinds of situations:
- If you’ve known her for a while but nothing sexual has happened…
- If she says she only wants to be friends but you want more…
- Even if she has a boyfriend, but you know he’s not right for her (though I don’t always recommend this)…
Whatever the case, these tricks work better than anything else I’ve seen to get sexual with a girl… and fast: