Nike Has the Right Idea: “Just Do It”
Enough with the doom and gloom, right? It’s time to get up and get going. Let’s start right where you are.
A lot of guys think that things would be better if girls made the approach, but they’re wrong.
Did you get that?
They. Are. Wrong.
How many guys lament, “Why can’t girls approach me?”
“I would LOVE it if they’d make the first move!”
“So she wanted me, and did nothing. Then I tried and she basically acted like she was not interested. I wish THEY would make it easier!”
That’s what you think.
The FIRST advantage you have – and for all intents and purposes, it is the main advantage – IS that they DON’T make the first, or second, or third move.
Why is this an advantage?
“Hi. I’d like some sex.”
Trust me. If women out looking for action made the first move, they’d probably never arrive at your apartment. They’d knock on the door next to theirs and some guy would be happy to take that bait.
I’m probably exaggerating, but you can agree that there’s probably no incredibly compelling reason they’d knock on your door before someone else’s.
Why Some Guys Are More Successful With Women Than Others
In fact, the biggest thing affecting your likeliness to get women is your willingness to try. That is HUGE.
My first full-monty sexual partner was not just a model, but a bona-fide beauty pageant winner; beautiful. How did that happen?
Do Beauty Pageant Contestants get a David Dupree brochure? Am I constantly fielding offers from new Contestants?
“I’m so sorry, Boopsie. Betsy’s on the other line, and while your runner up Miss Idaho thing sounds tempting, Betsy’s a confirmed Miss Virginia. I don’t have to quote the comps on the two states for you, do I? Even without ‘Virgin’ in the name, it’s a Southern state.”
Here’s how it happened: I saw it as a possibility and made it happen. I took action.
I’d like to add that the guys who introduced her said, “You would have loved the girl we met yesterday! Wow!” They met her first. I was not better looking, richer… I did not have the advantage.
How John Does it
I’m going to tell you about John. That’s his real name, and I’ll keep his last name to myself. He’s a friend of a friend, but I’m going to take the liberty of sharing his story.
John gets, as they say, more tail‘n’a toilet seat.
John is not especially good looking or rich or talented (outside of his obvious talent with women).
He probably beds more than four girls a week – at least he did when I first heard the tales.
What’s his magical method?
Pheromones? No.
Peacocking? Nope.
Some weird “opener?” Nay.
A crazy routine? No way, I swear.
John simply tries with pretty much every female he encounters. He literally asks all of them.
Now, I’ve never met John.
I’m glad, though, that I’ve never met him, because it means I can’t describe him to you.
You in turn can’t come up with any of the myriad excuses that he “gets more tail” than you do (which I guarantee he does.)
“Oh, but he’s white.”
“It’s easy to see why they say yes, he’s tall!”
“You’re discounting the fact that he looks so manly.”
“You can’t gloss over the fact that he has that androgynous look that’s so in.”
“The fact that he looks kind of feminine is probably an advantage.”
Here’s the thing. I don’t know what John looks like, and neither do you. More importantly, I can guarantee you – as much as he certainly gets laid more than you do, he gets rejected more than you do, too.
They Don’t All Say Yes.
There are lots of reasons they say no, and I don’t know or care what they are.
The point is, John gets what he’s looking for (which is not, mind you, what I’m looking for, and possibly not what you’re looking for, either) because he takes action and that’s his big advantage. It’s your advantage too, and women know it, respect it and are attracted to it.
In other words, part of the reason it’s a huge advantage is because women don’t judge you as simply (and shallowly) as you probably judge them. They see you and let’s say you’re tall and fit and good looking (like a guy I know). And they’re thinking, “I hope he’s attractive!”
That’s right. They’re HOPING you’re attractive because they don’t actually know until you do something. Mostly they’re going to judge what you do – and mostly not in your favor. Your self-acceptance (“I like me”) and confidence (“You like me”) are the most attractive features you can display.
In fact, the guy I was thinking of, who’s honestly tall and fit and really good looking – so much so that women INSTANTLY want to get to know him – is USELESS with them because he will not clench his buttocks and take a chance. He ends up dating women that go after him, because he won’t make the move. That means he dates women who want him, not women he wants.
Not John.
John boosts his attractiveness instantly because he accepts himself enough to offer them a chance to like him.
Am I suggesting that you start asking every girl you see to go out with you or to climb into bed?
No.
I am only suggesting that the very fact that there is a little speed bump between you and meeting a girl is a tremendous benefit for you.
First, it means that your competition is NOT what you think. Your competition is NOT “better-looking guys” or “taller guys” or “richer guys” or “famous guys” or “guys with amazing cars/jobs/drugs/clothes/tastes”, etc…
Your competition is Guys Who Try.
Wow!
Can you not see how huge that is? The very same guys you couldn’t compete against are not competing. Yeah, some of them are, but there are so few that you have an automatic advantage every time you open your mouth.
This is one of the reasons I never put guys down or get angry when guys approach the woman/women I’m with. There are so few guys taking any action, these guys are probably, by comparison, already somewhat cool. Sometimes they are just creepy and I have to get rid of them before the women get scared off, but I try to be as friendly as I can.
How a Tale of Two Musicians Can Help You With Women
I was listening to some early John Legend last night, and then to Jamie Cullum. You may not know this, but Legend was an accountant, and kept his day job until he was too busy with music, or too sure of success to worry about stability.
Meanwhile Cullum pooled together 480£ to press 500 copies of his first album, “Heard it All Before”
I LOVE Cullum’s work, but as I listened to Cullum play and sing on a cover, right after hearing Legend playing and singing “She Don’t Have to Know” – with no backup band – on stage in the Knitting Factory, I thought, “Isn’t it amazing that Jamie Cullum decided to make an album even though he couldn’t do what Legend was doing?”
Cullum not only made an album, but got a 1 Million pound record deal after a biding war and went on to a Grammy and becoming the UK’s best selling Jazz artist of all time in 2003.
Cullum could have compared himself to John Legend – or to Herbie Hancock or Ahmad Jamal or Chucho Valdés or Chick Korea or Keith Jarrett and said, “Nah. I’m not ready.”
Why did he just go for it? What right had he?
Do it.
Nike said it, and nothing could be more right. Just Do It.
In fact, the doing it is the main thing that matters. Having the right to do it, or doing it right, or doing it at the right time or doing the right thing are really not as important and are mostly things people discuss after the fact in art classes and essays.
If you believe it, they will come. Willingness wins. Just doing it is enough. Act ‘as-if’ you were meant to do this. I mean, ok, learn as if you were meant to do this, yeah. Plan as if you were meant to do it, sure, but eventually take action as if you were meant to do it.
If you want to argue that skill and talent and hard work and blah blah blah is what you need, then look at Madonna. She wanted it and went and got it. Still one of the most popular artists today, she was a dancer whose second and third album won Grammys. She wrote most of her hits herself, too. Just Do it.
It’s not easy, I know, to just do it. To walk up and say “hi,” or to record that album, or to get on the floor and start doing sit ups. Motivation is important, and it’s not always easy to be motivated enough to do what you need to do.
This is why I’m going to make the first recommendation now and I don’t think you’re going to like it:
Turn off the Porn.
“..but I get techniques from Porn!”
Turn it off.
“Porn is healthy.”
Turn it off.
The motivation sexual need gives you is one of the biggest pushes to taking action you have. Use it! See last week’s post if you’re a little confused as to what motivation has to do with Procrastination.
Otherwise, welcome to the group of “Men Who Do.”
I promise you, it’s a lot more fun than being a “Guy Who Doesn’t.”
Oh, and by the way, to remind you of what I said about Compliments, one of the lines that was probably key to getting that beauty-pageant winner in my bed was, “…you shouldn’t worry, you’re not that ugly.”
