How Sexually Compatible Are You & the Woman You’re With? Here’s How to Find Out FAST…
It can happen to any guy.
Things start out hot and heavy with a girl, and then they… fizzle.
Playing the blame game can be tempting, but rather than pointing fingers, it might be time to dig in and figure out what’s really going on.
To help you sort things out and reignite your sex life, Rachel Sussman, a New York City-based marriage counselor, has revealed 5 of the most common sexual red flags men face in relationships.
And on top of that, we also gathered some great advice from our own experts for what you can do to fix these situations.
If any of these red flags sound familiar, don’t worry, it doesn’t mean things have to end.
But it does mean you might have to take action, and do something about it.
Because ultimately, that’s the fastest way to get the kind of sex life you truly want (and deserve). 🙂
So here’s what they are:
1) The Passion Just Isn’t There
If your sex has become a bit… mechanical… then sex may start to feel more like a chore, than a fun way to get closer to a woman.
So to fix this problem, Sussman recommends getting creative.
Creativity can take a lot of different forms.
If you’ve fallen into a bit of a rut, trying a different position can do wonders.
Reverse cowgirl, with her on top facing away from you, can be fun to try and is perfect for hitting her G-spot.
Some light bondage can bring in some kink and give you new avenues to explore.
Try taking turns with a blindfold and light restraints (velcro restraints are perfect for beginners). Stimulate each other with fingers, mouths, or toys.
Get your partner revved up, and then slow things down again.
Keep building and getting her closer and closer, then slowing down until she can’t stand it anymore. When she finally orgasms, it will be explosive and unforgettable.
2) Your Sex Drives Don’t Match
One of you is always ready to go, and the other–not so much.
Sound familiar?
According to Sussman, this is one of the most common problems she sees in her practice. And it might be a sign that you’re drifting apart from the woman you’re with.
Typically, Sussman’s approach is to work with both partners.
For the partner with the lower sex drive, she’ll work on increasing it. For the partner with the higher drive, she’ll work on helping them be patient with the partner.
And although it’s common to assume that it’s the man who is the one with the higher sex drive, that’s not always the case.
If you’re experiencing a lower libido, first of all, don’t be too hard on yourself. Our sex drive ebbs and flows, and it’s totally normal for that to happen.
Next, take a look at what’s going on in your life. If you’re stressed, that can put a damper on your libido.
Try some positive ways to manage stress. These might include:
- Exercise–Even getting outside for a short walk can boost your mood.
- Eating healthy–Junk food provides a quick fix, but it can also cause sugar crashes and weight gain. Keep healthy snacks on hand to boost your energy.
- Meditation–It doesn’t need to be complicated. You can sit quietly for a few moments and focus on your breathing.
If you’re the partner with the higher drive, you’ll need to exercise some patience. It’s tough, I know, but if your partner feels pressured, she’s more likely to shut down.
So, how do you do that?
First, try some physical contact without initiating sex. Snuggle her, and just, well, snuggle. This lets her know that she’s safe with you without feeling any pressure.
Focus on your friendship too. Spend time together without the expectation of sex. Many women need to feel an emotional connection in order to have sex, so rekindle that connection.
Think back to the beginning of your relationship and what made things hot and heavy, and try to recreate that.
Did you go out on fun dates at the beginning, and now are more of a Netflix and chill sort of couple?
Try doing what brought out the initial sexiness out in both of you, and you may just reignite things in the bedroom. 😉
3) One Partner Isn’t Open to the Other’s Fantasies
Sometimes, one partner wants to try something in the bedroom that the other partner isn’t willing to try.
And this can cause a really big rift in the relationship.
Often, one partner is afraid to open up about his or her specific fantasies as well–maybe he’s afraid of judgment or of being shut down.
If you have fantasies you want to explore, a great place to start is with her fantasies. Ask her about what gets her turned on and riled up.
Indulge her in her fantasies, and she’ll be that much more open to yours. 😉
If you’re nervous about her reaction, try working your way up to your ultimate fantasy. If your dreams are of having her tied up and completely submissive, for example, start with light wrist restraints that she could undo if she needed to.
Take things slowly, and you can open up a whole new world for you both!
4) You Want to Open Up Your Relationship–But Aren’t Sure How
More and more couples are coming to Sussman with questions about opening up their relationship.
There is no right or wrong way to open up a relationship. The question is, what works best for you and your partner?
To open up a relationship, you need to start with open, honest talk.
For example, are you looking for just sex with other people, or are you looking for romantic relationships as well?
Two of the most common types of open relationships are swinging and polyamory.
Swinging is when you and your partner “swap” with other couples or include single partners. Swinging is primarily about sex, though you may find lasting friendships as well.
Polyamory is when you have relationships with other partners. Typically, these relationships are sexual and romantic.
When you’re at the beginning stages of opening up, decide on your ground rules. Do you want to know who your partner is seeing? Or are you comfortable letting her explore on her own?
Some couples set rules like, “Never the same person twice” and “Never in our bed.” It’s all up to the two of you, though.
If you’re looking to open up your relationship, the most important thing is to take care of each other first. Nurture your sex life and communicate openly about what’s going on.
When it’s done with openness and good communication, opening up a relationship can boost your confidence and take your sex life to a whole new level.
5) You’re Not Having Sex–At All
If sex just isn’t happening, the first step is to explore a bit and find out what’s happened.
Has your sex life dwindled as you’ve been together?
Was there chemistry at the beginning, and now, not so much?
Try to figure out what’s changed. It could be stress, it could be that you’ve gotten too familiar with each other, or that it’s been so long that you’re not sure what to do.
But whatever the case…
If you want to start having sex again, and get things back to where they used to be, then that’s a really good sign.
It means you want things to work out. And if you have that desire, then chances are the woman you’re with has that desire too.
But how do you go about having sex again, if you aren’t having any at all right now?
We reached out to our experts to find out… and here’s the fastest solution we could find:
If You’re Not Getting Laid Right Now (But You Want To)…
Then yeah, you could have a conversation about it…
Or go see a counselor…
But that takes time. And a lot of effort.
In reality, the fastest way to start getting laid again is a lot simpler:
Show her that she turns you on.
And I do mean “show” her.
Don’t be afraid to get a hard-on in front of her… and don’t try to hide it.
This is ESPECIALLY true if you can get hard fast (like in < 30 seconds), or in situations that don’t seem all that “sexual.”
It might seem a little counterintuitive… but when she sees you’re turned on… she’ll get turned on too.
And that basically she’ll want to have sex with you right then and there. (No matter how long it’s been, or even if you think her sex drive is nonexistent.)
Of course, sometimes getting hard so fast isn’t easy… so in order to help you get hard even faster (and stay that way for longer)…
I highly recommend you eat this all-natural combination of 5 exotic foods proven to help you get hard on-command (and stay that way):
