Why Your Love of Sports May Be Keeping Her From Loving You
I was recently asked a question by one of my female readers, and I thought it would be a great idea to personally answer it so you guys can see what is actually of concern to a woman who’s in a relationship.
Here’s what she said:
Dear Glenn,
I hope you can help. Something my current boyfriend does that I wish he didn’t do is talk to me about sports. He’s a sports fan and is well-aware that I don’t give two shits about most of them.
While I understand that talking to me about sports might release some of his tension, I wish he would talk to his co-workers or friends about them more often and talk to me about them less.”
Let’s break this down and talk about what’s really going on and the implications involved.
Who’s To Blame?
As men, we all know that the women we’re dating or sleeping with most likely don’t give a crap about sports. And if they do care, chances are they only want to watch sports on TV and not talk about them.
I would put most of the blame on the woman in this circumstance. She probably acted more interested in sports in the beginning of their relationship to win him over, and she probably did this by allowing him to speak freely about sports.
If she would have been upfront about her apathy in the beginning, it’s doubtful that after all this time he’d still be talking about sports with her.
I personally hate sports, but most men live for sports and follow their favorite teams all year. Even though we’d love to share our enthusiasm with our chosen women, it’s more than likely not wise.
Think Sports Can’t Affect Your Sex Life? Think Again
Like this woman said, “he’s well-aware that I don’t give two shits.” There’s definitely some anger in her words. Clearly, she’s frustrated, and I’m certain this frustration shows when he’s trying to talk to her about sports.
This frustration will only grow as time goes on, and the fact that she’s been unable to fix this problem more than likely means there’s a lot of tension building up.
Sooner or later, this tension will come out. It’s called being passive aggressive.
Build up enough pressure, and something will blow! For women, this could mean instigating a fight, showing a lack of sexual desire, starting to look elsewhere, etc. You get the idea.
The One Thing Every Man Needs To Do…
What this question shows is a breakdown of communication between two people. His decision to constantly talk sports with someone who clearly isn’t interested is a lack of insight and understanding of female psychology on his part.
Her decision not to properly convey her disinterest is equally as bad. I would bet that this isn’t the only area of their relationship where there’s a breakdown of proper communication.
He’s talking with her like she’s one of the guys, and although that may be fine in small doses, there will come a time when he needs to learn to communicate and converse with her the way other females do.
Women and men communicate and talk with each other very differently, and this is where the breakdown occurs.
Women expect men to just know how to talk to them and realize what they want.
Men, on the other hand, think women want to hear about the things they’re passionate about.
Women typically do want to hear about things we’re passionate about, but only if it concerns themselves!
Talk to a woman about something you’re passionate about that may benefit her or your relationship and watch her perk up and listen.
Talk to her about things that don’t directly benefit her or the relationship, and she will dry up. Literally.
How To Interpret Her Actions And Get What You Want
Women tend to read into everything in a selfish way, especially regarding how it affects and concerns them. I’m not hating on them, it’s just who they are.
Women are biologically hardwired to worry about their protection and survival. This is why women will choose (and are attracted to) the strongest, most confident and successful men.
This may explain why women react certain ways to certain topics during conversation.
The more a man communicates unsuccessfully with his woman, the more likely she will be to lose her sexual desire to be with him. Her ability to orgasm may also be decreased.
As the communication between two people breaks down, so does the intimacy.
Men tend to forget that women are emotional beings and often rely on their emotions to make their decisions for them. As I’ve always said, women will usually act on the most dominant emotion they’re experiencing at any given time.
If this emotion is frustration, what do you think her actions will be like?
This is why it’s best to always be aware of your partner’s emotions and adjust your conversations and actions accordingly.
I’m not trying to say that you should never talk about sports (or things that may not interest her) because she needs to feel as though you’re including her in your life. Part of that includes being a sports fan.
However, you should be able to recognize her disdain for certain topics and adjust your conversation accordingly.
I would also imagine that this man has been running out of things to talk about. He’s choosing to talk about what he’s most familiar with for the sake of having conversations with his girlfriend.
It is highly doubtful that he’s talking to her about sports to release tension, as she has stated.
Here’s What You Should Do To Avoid This…
Monotony and predictability are relationship killers. Once you get in the habit of having mundane, boring conversations, it’s very hard to turn things around.
Habits are hard to break, and if you’re in the habit of having meaningless and unimportant conversations with your partner, you can almost certainly watch the flame of desire go out too.
My advice to this woman would be to have a clear and meaningful conversation with her boyfriend about her lack of interest in sports.
I’d also recommend conveying to him that her sexual desire to be with him wanes when he does so.
Men are paranoid about their partners losing attraction, and they will do just about anything to prevent it.
It’s probably quite hard for this woman to be in the mood for a night of passion with her boyfriend when he’s constantly talking about things that turn her off.
I wouldn’t blame her if she used sex at times to have the feeling that she has him all to herself. On some level, she wants to feel as though she’s the most important thing in his life — not sports.
As for him, my advice would be to start to date your girlfriend again. Many people in relationships forget to actually date the person they’re with.
What does this mean? If you’re in a similar situation, start to date her all over again.
Go out on dates.
Create wonderful situations where sex can and will happen.
Seduce your partner and make her orgasm harder each and every time!
If you’re single, use this information to avoid falling into this unfortunate trap the next time you strike up a conversation with a woman.
But before you can even think about avoiding this trap, you have to start the conversation…
And sometimes you don’t even have to talk to her to get her interested. Check out these tips for shy and introverted men about how to touch a woman in all the right ways.
You won’t believe how easy it is!
