How to Text a Girl to Get a Date–Will You Succeed?
Have you ever found yourself looking down at your phone at the name of a pretty woman you’ve just met, whether it was through friends, in a coffee shop or an online dating site, and wondering what you should text her?
Have you ever found yourself texting back and forth with a girl trying to figure out when is the best time to ask her out on a date? Or even wondering if she’ll say “Yes” when you finally do?
Or maybe you’ve gotten a woman’s phone number and you don’t know how long to wait to text her for the first time. Is it 1 day? 3 days? Longer?
Today I want to give you a few quick tips that will easily teach you:
- Why texting a girl can be really easy (if you know what to do)…
- How to text a girl to build her attraction, and…
- How to get her out on a date with you.
…and these work with any woman.
Let’s start off with what I just said: “with any woman!” What do I mean by this? You’d be surprised, but it’s actually really important to understand this point.
1) Treat Any Woman Like She Is One of Many
Did you know the average man only goes out on 2-3 first dates per year? Above average men go out on 5-7 first dates a year. That means most guys have only texted a new woman 7 times in the past year, at best.
Because they’re texting so few girls over the course of an entire year, most men put an extreme amount of importance on each woman–he has no sense of abundance. If you only have 7 chances to get a girl out on a date, you’re probably going to play it very carefully, right?
Very bad idea!
If you’re texting with 10 women at any given moment, how do you think you’ll act with each woman? Would you play it “safe”? Probably not. You know that even if you screw things up with one woman, there are 9 others left that still like you!
This is why it’s crucial to your success to text with “any woman” like you have 10 more women who are dying to go out with you.
Women have more options than you would ever realize. In my experience, they are texting with at least 2-4 new men at any given moment until they settle into a serious relationship.
Allow me to ask you this: do you think she remembers the man who’s texting very “gentleman-like” and “nice?” Or the guy who’s teasing her, being aloof and non-needy? If you said the latter, you’re correct.
So, tip #1 is to treat “any woman” like she is one of many women you’re texting. Do not treat her like the special snowflake you might think she is! “Playing it safe” is a dead-end road that leads to lonely nights at home watching lame movies or playing video games!
2) When’s the Best Time to Text a Girl?
I have a saying:
“When you’re with a woman, time is on your side. When you’re separated from her, time is your worst enemy.”
Memorize this and it will serve you well.
Here’s what I mean. If you’re chatting away with a woman and things are going well, then that time you’re spending with her is only raising her level of attraction to you and strengthening your connection with her.
The minute you walk away from her, the attraction that you’ve built and the connection the both of you have made starts to slowly decrease. The clock is ticking–every second you wait, that attraction and connection keeps slowly melting away.
(It works the same way with online dating. Once you’ve gotten her phone number and you’re about to move from emailing to texting, the same premise is at work. Text her right away!)
Which leads me into Tip #2: text her the same day you meet her or the very next day. Do not wait 2,3 or 4 days to text a woman. Pretty simple.
You always want to be “fresh” in her memory and get her on a date before she forgets about you or someone else comes along (which can literally happen overnight)!
3) How to Craft the Perfect Text Opener
Great. Now that you understand when to first text a woman after getting her phone number, I think it’s a good time to talk about my texting tip #3: how to craft the perfect text opener.
Your first text to a woman should always be:
2) Slightly humorous, and
Why? Like I said above, at any given moment she is more than likely texting with a few men–you have some competition.
If that’s not bad enough, over the past few years, she has probably texted with dozens of boring, uninteresting men. How do I know that?
Because she’s given you her phone number! That means that if any of those men had been interesting, unique and worthwhile… she’d probably still be happily dating them, and not giving her phone number out to you.
The easiest way to differentiate yourself from the “average guy” she’s given her number to already… is by sending out a great first text.
Here’s an Example:
Here are a few first texts you can send (or feel free to use my ideas and change them around for your own purposes):
“I heard you met a really amazing and handsome guy at (insert where you met her).”
“So… Meet any awesome guys at (insert where you met her)?”
“Do you always pick-up guys at (insert where you met her)?”
“Hey you. It’s your internet husband (insert your name).” (This is if you’ve met her online)
“I know you haven’t been able to stop thinking about me since we met so I figured I’d say hi.”
Those are the exact texts I use and they work great! Have fun with them.
4) The Big Step that Most Guys Don’t Even Try
Now that you’ve established contact with a woman and you’re texting back and forth, it’s a good time to flirt and banter with her before you ask her out on a date.
(By the way, NEVER refer to meeting up with a girl as a date. ALWAYS just call it “drinks”).
Women live for flirting and banter. If you can successfully flirt, banter, and make a woman laugh, you’re in!
Not only that, you’ve definitely distinguished yourself from all of the other men who are texting or have texted with her.
Men just suck at this. You may find this hard to believe, but I’ve given workshops on flirting and bantering with as many as 10 guys at once and it’s amazing at how little men know about flirting, how to do it, and why it’s so important. That means if you can do it right, you’ll be getting more dates than you can handle.
Flirting is an art and takes some time to learn but here are a few examples that you may be able to use:
Her: “Where do you live?”
Me: “What? We just met and you wanna come over already? You don’t waste any time, do you?”
Her: “I have to take a shower”
You: “Look at you trying to get me to imagine you with no clothes on. Sneaky!”
You: “On a scale of 9 to 10. How excited are you that you met me?”
Her: “What do you do as a job?”
You: “Why? Trying to decide if I’m husband material?”
With flirting and banter there are literally a million different ways to do it. I just wanted to give you a little taste of one potentially successful method.
The main purpose of texting with a woman that you’ve met is to re-establish any attraction and connection that you made in real life and to get her on a date!
This is where 99.9% of men screw it up. I personally go through my students’ phones to analyze their text exchanges with women, and in every single instance these guys have spent way too much time texting with a woman before they ask her out for a drink.
To the point that when they finally did ask her out, she said “No!”
Flirt a little and maintain that connection, but know when to pull the trigger on asking her out. How will you know when it’s time?
5) How Many Texts Should You Send Before Asking a Woman Out?
Always ask a woman out for drinks, coffee, or ice cream within the first 15-20 texts back and forth. You don’t want to waste time with a woman who isn’t serious about meeting up.
Not only that, you don’t want the conversation to get so boring that she decides you’re not the right guy for her. Typically it’s hard for the conversation to get boring in the first 15 to 20 texts.
You will always want to ask her for a drink on a “high note” of the conversation. Women are highly emotional beings. They act and survive based on their emotions. They make all of their decisions from an emotional standpoint, not a logical one like men.
If you ask a woman for drinks when the conversation is boring, her emotional state is low. Therefore she’ll automatically assume that your date will be boring and uneventful. I know it sounds absurd, but it’s the truth.
If, on the other hand, you ask a woman out while the conversation is interesting and she’s excited, she’ll naturally assume that your date will be interesting and exciting, and she’ll almost certainly say “yes”.
There you have it. 5 texting tips that you can start using today that will 100% improve your odds and get the girl to go out on a date with you.
Have some fun with these secrets. Realize that you may lose some women along the way but practice makes perfect, and each time you lose one, that’s just one more woman who’s not wasting your time anymore, and making room for another one who’ll be incredibly attracted to you in no time.
Bonus: The Easiest Way to Tell If She’ll Text You Back…
There’s only one sure way to know for sure if she’ll text you back:
If she’s truly interested in you, you can be confident that she’ll blow up your phone constantly.
But it can be really tough to figure out whether she’s actually interested in you…or if she just wants attention, or is being polite.
After all, a woman has some pretty subtle ways of showing you she likes you… since she doesn’t want to be seen as “easy” or a “slut” by other people who might be around…
In fact, some of her methods of telling you she’s interested are so “under the radar” that our Community Experts developed an entire cheat sheet devoted to exposing them.
Once you know these… you’ll be a lot more likely to get a message back since you’ll know, for sure, whether she already has some interest in you.
Even better, it’ll lower your “blowout” (or rejection) rates… since you can focus on all of the hot girls who are interested in you that you never noticed before.
This is one of the most valuable resources we share with our community… and it’s become a downright “right of passage” for guys who are serious about getting better with women… and you can check it out right here: